


Somewhere In Between Who I Used to Be and Who I'll Be Tomorrow

by ShapeOfLou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Break Up, Drunk Sex, Famous Harry, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Infidelity, M/M, Manipulation, Medical Inaccuracies, Mpreg, Non-Famous Louis, Rimming, Strangers to Lovers, Vomiting, kind of??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 08:21:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11824776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShapeOfLou/pseuds/ShapeOfLou
Summary: After landing his dream job of being a TV host, Harry Styles thinks he has it all, a nice job, luxury cars, designer clothes, and a stable relationship with a man he loves. That is, until he makes the drunken mistake of going home with the cute bartender which results in an unexpected pregnancy.With a baby on the way, Harry has to balance his work life with deciding how he wants to spend the rest of his life: with the man he's been with for years or the father of his child.





	Somewhere In Between Who I Used to Be and Who I'll Be Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [twistedsymphonies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twistedsymphonies/gifts).



> So- this was a wild ride. This was by far the most difficult and longest thing I've ever written and I hope that it lives up to any expectations that you may have. I enjoyed including multiple pairings and I'm glad I was forced out of my comfort zone with the angst and problems. This is also my first attempt at mpreg so I hope that's all well and good. 
> 
> I would like to thank my incredible britpicker for helping and encouraging me through this tedious process.
> 
> Sidenote: My britpicker let me know that my medical scenes aren't medically correct in the UK medical system but I'm pretty sure it's wrong in any country. It helped me with the storyline and how much accuracy can you expect from an mpreg fic ;)
> 
> Shoutout to the All Time Low song Life of the Party for the title

_18th February:_

Harry turns on the lamp that is sitting on the bedside table, causing a soft glow to fill the master bedroom. He carefully throws the duvet off of one side and crawls onto the bed, making sure not to wake his sleeping boyfriend as he straddles his waist. He leans down and begins to leave soft kisses along the older man’s jaw before he starts to whisper in between kisses.

“Nick, it’s time to wake up,” he says, his voice coming out barely more than a soft breath. He continues to kiss all over Nick's neck, face, and chest, and he notices him start to slowly wake up. Nick stretches and yawns before rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. When he opens his eyes, he sees Harry above him, his messy curls framing his face in the soft glow of the room.

Harry giggles softly, “mornin’ sleepyhead.” Nick admires how pleasant Harry can be so early in the morning, and moreso how gorgeous he looks.

“‘Ello, beautiful,” Nick responds, his voice raspy with sleep. He reaches up and drags his fingers along Harry’s jaw and Harry leans down and connects their lips. Harry slowly rolls his hips as they kiss and he feels Nick’s prominent morning wood beneath him.

Harry breaks the kiss and sits back up, causing Nick to whine. He smirks back and continues to wiggle his hips as Nick grabs onto his waist and helps guide him along. Nick slides his hands down and across the bottom of Harry's back, slipping his fingers past the waistband of Harry's tight briefs and digging his nails into the curve of his ass.

“It's too early for you to tease like this,” Nick says, his voice cutting off at the end due to Harry rolling down particularly hard and making him gasp.

Harry stops grinding and pulls himself away from Nick, moving further down the bed to situate himself between his legs. He slowly drags his briefs down, allowing for his hard cock to pop out against his toned stomach. Harry grabs the base and obscenely spits on the backside before slowly jerking Nick off.

“Fu-, oh my god, what are you doing,” Nick stutters out as he notices Harry leaning down closer, his warm breath hitting Nick’s cock. Harry opens his mouth and takes the tip in and gently sucks on it as he continues to jerk the shaft. Nick can feel Harry sliding his tongue around the head as he continues to gently suck.

A moment later, Harry looks up at Nick, his messy curls hanging in front of his green eyes, as he slowly begins to take Nick further into his mouth, eventually hitting the back of his throat and audibly gagging, but continuing until his nose is nuzzled into Nick’s pubes.  Nick gasps and shutters a bit, reaching down to fist his hand in Harry’s hair, slowly pulling him halfway up his length and pushing him back down.

“God, you’re so fucking pretty, baby,” Nick says between choked whines as Harry continues to bob up and down on his cock. Eventually Harry pulls completely off with a loud gasp, catching his breath. He replaces his mouth with his hand and continues to jerk Nick off before sucking on the tip again.

Harry inches down a bit further, but he doesn’t take his entire length again. He keeps bobbing his head and jerking off what he isn’t taking into his mouth.

“‘M gon- fuck, I’m gonna come,” Nick whines out as his orgasm hits him and he comes in Harry's mouth. Harry barely flinches and keeps Nick’s cock in his mouth until his orgasm is finished, and then sucks on the tip to get the last drops of come. He pulls off and swallows, wiping his drool slick chin with the back of his hand. He crawls back up the bed and lies flat on Nick's chest, propping himself up on his hands.

“Feel better?” Harry asks with a mischievous tone and soft giggle. He leans up and kisses Nick again, this time with more tongue involved.

When they pull apart, Nick laughs, “Yeah, I feel better but you taste like come.”

Harry furrows his eyebrows and scoffs, “Hey! It's _your_ come for one, secondly, you have morning breath and you don't see me complaining.”

Nick raises his hands in mock surrender. “Fine!” He pulls Harry's face closer to his again, connecting their lips for a brief moment. “Thank you, sweetheart. I feel great now. Shower?”

***

“I don't know why you insisted on driving me to the airport, I could have taken an Uber or summat.” Nick says, looking at Harry from across the kitchen where he's trying to brew tea and prepare his lunch for work.

“I already told you that I don't mind! I literally have to go straight to work after I drop you.” Harry is focused on the sandwich he has on the stovetop griddle, gently using his spatula to flip it. A soft hiss fills the room, as does the smell of the cooking butter in the pan. “They want me to come in a little earlier than normal to finalize things.”

“I’m still so, so proud of you, sweetheart.” Nick beams, “I know how badly you wanted this promotion and how hard you worked for it. I know that they made the right decision.”

Nick can see the side of Harry’s face, noticing his cavernous dimple taking over his cheek, “I don’t know, maybe they only gave it to me because I’m dating you, Mr. Bigshot radio 1 host.” He giggles and looks back at Nick, who is shaking his head.

“Don’t be silly, who cares who I am.” Nick walks towards Harry, who is slipping his finished sandwich into a plastic container. “You’re the only one that matters here and, like I said, they chose the right one for the job. You know why they chose you, hm?”

Harry hums, “Why?”

“I would assume it was because of your good looks and charm, you’re the perfect candidate for TV. Gotta admit I’m kinda jealous of everyone getting to look at you. Everyone’s gonna fall in love, darling.” Nick swoons. After years of being a reporter, Harry finally got promoted to a host at the station. He just found out a few days earlier and since then Nick had told just about everyone he’s come into contact with. Harry, on the other hand, has been too nervous to go around boasting. He figures Nick has done enough for the both of them.

Nick stands behind Harry, wrapping his arms around his slim waist as he leans down and places a single kiss on Harry’s neck. “‘M gonna miss you so much while I’m gone.”

Harry softens to Nick’s touches, “I’m going to miss you, too. Two weeks is a long time, innit?”

Nick hums into Harry’s neck in agreement. “You know, I never paid you back for that favor earlier.”

Harry doesn’t say anything, but instead turns around and connects his lips to Nick’s. Nick kisses Harry back, licking his bottom lip and sliding his tongue across Harry’s as he reaches down and squeezes Harry’s ass. After a few moments, Harry pulls away to catch his breath and Nick can feel his semi against his leg.

While Harry attempts to regain his normal breathing, Nick grabs him by the hips and lifts him so that he is sitting on the counter. Harry leans back and unbuttons his tight jeans and slides them down a bit before spreading his legs and sitting back up to kiss Nick again.

As the kiss intensifies, Nick slides his hand down the front of Harry’s opened jeans and into his pants. He grabs his semi soft cock and softly strokes it, paying special attention to the tip as he runs his finger under the foreskin and over the slit, pushing the precome around to help slicken Harry’s length. Harry has his hands on both sides of Nick’s face, holding him there as they continue kissing. He pulls away from the kiss to look down at his cock being jerked off and whimpers softly, squeezing his eyes shut.

Nick pulls his hand away, eliciting a whine from Harry, as he spits into his palm and reaches back down into Harry’s pants. Now that Harry is fully hard, Nick is stroking faster, causing Harry to bite down on his bottom lip and bury his face into Nick’s neck.

“God, you’re so good for me,” Nick whispers as he stops stroking. He pulls Harry’s foreskin down and gently runs his thumb over the sensitive frenulum as he keeps speaking. “You look so pretty like this, all fucked out. I wish I could spread you out right here.”

Harry gasps and trembles, “Nick...stop, oh-”

Nick continues, cutting Harry off, “I wish I could bend you over this counter and finger you open, make you beg for more, huh?” He continues stroking Harry, “I wanna fuck you right here-”

Before he can finish, Nick feels Harry shudder against him, his hot breath fanning across his neck and chest and his hot come covering his hand. Both men sit in silence for a moment, Harry’s rugged breathing being the only sound in the room. He slowly sits up straight and brings his lips to Nick’s again, quickly pecking a few times.

Nick gently removes his hand from Harry’s pants, being weary of his post orgasm sensitivity. He brings his hand up to Harry’s face, rubbing his thumb across Harry’s swollen bottom lip, leaving a trail of wetness that Harry drags his tongue across before taking the entire tip of Nick’s thumb into his mouth and sucking it clean of his own come.

Nick laughs, but let’s Harry continue. Harry sticks another finger in his mouth, doing the same, and lifts his eyebrows at Nick in concern.

He pulls off, his eyebrows furrowed as he whines, “What!?”

Nick keeps laughing, “You’re so ridiculous!”

Harry pulls the last finger from his mouth with an obscene and dramatic _pop_ , “How am I ridiculous? You put your hand there knowing I would do that! What was I supposed to do?”

Not having an answer, Nick ignores Harry’s question and instead helps him off of the counter. “Wanna go get cleaned up? I’ll straighten up in here,” he motions to the dishes in the sink and mess on the stove from Harry’s sandwich. “You’ve gotta look pretty on your first day.”

Harry shakes his head with a smirk, “Way to change the subject.” He smiles and gives Nick another peck on the lips before sliding past and leaving the kitchen.

***

“Harry!” a female voice shouts from the hallway.

Harry stops what he is doing, decorating his new office, and walks to the doorway, being met by the flustered woman.

“Harry! There you are darling, how are you?” Before he can answer she continues speaking, “Is everything alright?”

Even though Harry has been working for the woman for years, he still has a hard time taking in her overjoyous energy, especially this early in the morning. He’s used to his grumpy boyfriend who struggles getting out of bed before 10am.

“I’m fine, Susan, really. I’m loving the view from here, if I’m honest.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful! I just wanted to make sure things were going well. I know it’s kind of a big change. Thanks for coming in early, by the way!”

Harry flashes her a charming smile, tilting his head, “No problem! I actually had to drop Nicholas off at the airport this morning.”

She slightly grimaces, “Oh, that’s no fun so early in the morning. What’s the occasion?”

“He’s going to Los Angeles for two weeks,” he pauses for a moment, “for work.”

“Oh! I’m sure you’re jealous. It’s lovely out there this time of year. Anyway, how is the new segment coming along?”

Harry flashes back to the night before when he got too carried away riding Nick’s face in the bathroom so dinner was ruined and they ordered take out. “It’s uh...it’s coming along, yeah?” he closes with a soft giggle, hoping she doesn’t ask to see it.

“That’s great, darling. Anyway, I better go, I have a meeting to get to and I’m not even completely ready for that myself. Good luck with your first official day! I’ll be around if you have any questions.” she squeezes Harry’s shoulder and smiles before turning and leaving the room. He peeks out of the room and waits until he sees her short frame turn the corner at the end of the hall before he softly closes the door and walks back to his desk.

He ignores the list of things to do that’s lying on his desk, and instead continues decorating, insisting that he won’t be able to work properly until he’s comfortable anyway. He places a few framed pictures as well as some potted succulents along the windowsill overlooking the city as he starts to come up with segment ideas in his head.

 

_24th February:_

Soft vibrations from his phone wake Harry up. He’s slightly startled but stretches himself awake, noticing the clock that reads 11:29 underneath the television that is still playing reruns of _Friends_. Once he gains enough consciousness, he reaches over to the coffee table for his phone, which has stopped vibrating. He clicks the home button and the screen lights up, showing a few random notifications for spam emails and a new text from Niall.

He thinks for a moment and decides that he’s too tired to hold a conversation right now and if he opens the message he’ll forget to reply in the morning. He decides that his best plan of action would be to go back to bed and leave the notification to be dealt with in the morning, assuming that anything extremely important would be worthy of multiple messages or even a call.

***

The next time Harry wakes up, he’s on his side of his and Nick’s bed and his phone alarm is going off, meaning it’s been 6 hours since he woke up on the couch. He rolls over and picks his phone up, unlocking it to stop the alarm sound. He squints at the brightness from the screen, since the blackout curtains in the room don’t allow any of the sunrise to shine through, and scrolls through his notifications.

The first thing he sees is a text from Nick, like he usually does whenever they’re away from each other like this, that says: _Good morning, sweetheart. It’s 9 here and I’m alone in my room for the night and free tomorrow, in case you want to call or summat, I can stay up. Love and miss you as always xxx._

Harry smiles to himself but doesn’t open or respond to Nick’s message immediately. Instead, he scrolls through the rest of his notifications and sees emails from retail stores and notifications for games he hasn’t touched in weeks. At the bottom he sees Niall’s text from the night before and decides he’s more competent to answer it now than he was in his sleepy daze. The message says: _Hiya Harry ! Heard about your promotion ! What do ya say I take ya out for a pint or two to celebrate ?_

Harry locks his phone again and rolls over onto his back, stretching his arms above his head and yawning. Despite being a bit tired (which is nothing a little coffee can’t fix) he feels strangely content and happy, but moreso, loved and appreciated. He had been dating Nick for almost three years but he still got the pleasant warm feeling in his stomach knowing that Nick was just as head over heels for him. Niall had been his best friend since grade school, and even though they don’t stay in touch as much as they used to, with their busy adult schedules and all, they still always find a way to let the other know how important they are. This was no exception, especially since Niall was aware of how badly Harry had been wanting this promotion and how competitive it was for him to get it after only 4 years at the company.

After grabbing his phone again, Harry unlocks it and opens Niall’s message first. He thinks of a reply for a moment before deciding on: _Hi Niall! Hope you’re doing well! I’d love to go out with you one night, are you free Friday? xx_

He hits send and throws the covers off before swinging his legs off of the bed. He sits up and yawns one more time before getting up and walking to the bathroom. Once he switches the light on, his eyes struggle to adjust but the brightness helps to wake him up completely. He slowly staggers around a bit as he empties his bladder, brushes his teeth and washes his face. He also tousles with his hair a bit before giving up - knowing that his short hair is too unruly to style without copious amounts of products, something he tries to avoid.

Once he leaves the bathroom, he heads downstairs to the kitchen. On his way down, he grabs his MacBook from his desk in his office, hoping that it still has some charge since he forgot to plug it up the night before after he gave up on his work.

After getting to the kitchen and starting to brew tea, Harry opens his MacBook and immediately goes to respond to the message from Nick, _Hi love, I’m in the kitchen having tea if you want to FaceTime a bit before I have to go xx_

He gets up to turn some lights on, figuring the soft glow from the sunrise wasn’t the best for FaceTiming, and by the time he sat back down he saw that Nick had read his message. A few seconds later his laptop rings and he clicks the green button that pops up to answer the call.

The first thing Harry notices is that Nick is in bed, making him feel a bit jealous and also wish that he was there with him. Nick breaks the short silence before Harry has a chance to do so.

“”Hiiiii, beautiful. What have you been up to?” Nick chimes, sounding extra giddy, this being the first time he and Harry have had an “actual” conversation since he got dropped off at the airport 6 days earlier.

Harry dramatically tilts his head and places his pointer finger on his chin as he pretends to struggle to remember his busy week. “Welllll, work has been an experience.”

“Yeah, how so? You told me you were busier, but that’s all I got out of you before you had to get back to it.”

Harry mockingly throws his head back and groans, “it’s horrible.” He runs his fingers through his messy hair again before continuing. “No, really though, I love it. It has been hectic because,” he pauses to gather his thoughts, “I’m getting used to it? A few people have been trying to help out but other than that it’s exactly what I wanted it to be. I love having so much say and control in things, even if everyone older than me hates it.”

“Well I’m definitely glad you like it, I’m sure it’ll be easier once you do it for a while - and who cares if people ‘hate’ it, you earned that spot, love. Don’t let anyone discourage you.”

“I’m not letting anyone-,” Harry stops mid sentence because a notification in the top corner of his laptop distracts him.

Nick scrunches his eyebrows, “you ‘lright?”

Harry snaps out of it, “Oh, yeah, sorry, Niall asked if i wanted to go out with him one night to celebrate the promotion. He just replied and said Friday is okay with him, since I’m off Saturday, ya know.”

Nick nods in agreement, “It’s really nice that he offered to do something like that. You deserve to get out and have some fun after this busy week.”

Harry hums in response. “Hey, speaking of busy weeks, wanna tell me what _you’ve_ been up to? Let me finish my tea and you can tell me all about it.” He stands up and flashes a sly smile before walking back to the stove.

After a while of bantering about Nick’s week (not nearly as hectic as Harry’s, which Harry deems as _unfair_ ), playful teasing back and forth, and sappy whining about how much they miss each other, Harry tells Nick he should finish getting ready and leave for work, and maybe he can talk later on.

 

_2nd March:_

Harry closes his shearling coat and crosses his arms across his chest in an attempt to fight off the frigid London air.

“Oi! Maybe you wouldn’t be so cold if you would just button your shirt the rest of the way up!” Niall laughs, even though he is bouncing back and forth on his feet, seemingly just as cold.

Harry rolls his eyes, knowing that Niall is joking. “It’s been thirty minutes anyway, what the hell is taking so long?”

Niall’s mood gets a little more serious than it was a second earlier, “Yeah, I know. It isn’t usually this bad. You’ve said you’ve never been here before?”

Harry shakes his head, “No, Nick and I haven’t really been club goers since it opened.”

Niall’s chipper mood returns instantly, “Oh, you’re in for a treat! The last time I was in here, about two weeks or so ago I reckon, I met this lass and -”

“Next!” the bouncer calls towards the first few people in line, including them. After getting ID’ed, they were let inside.

Immediately, Harry was taken aback by the loud music, something he hasn’t been around in years, like he said. A thick smoke is floating around the room, with the lights on the dance floor flitting around to make the room have a soft orange glow. Niall is right in front of him, so Harry follows him to what looks like the bar.

As Harry catches up and stops behind Niall, he is already calling the bartender over and ordering their drinks. “Oi! I’ll have my regular and a- what do ya want Harry?”

He has to yell over the noise, “I’ll have a caipirinha, thanks.”

The bartender turns to get their drinks while they wait against the wooden bar, not having much room to spread out anyway, with the patrons crowding them. Harry notices how comfortable Niall is in this environment, but it isn’t shocking once he remembers how he was when they were younger. This used to be an everyday thing for them both, even if Harry never took it as well as Niall did.

“So you said you and Nick don’t really go out anymore?” Niall asks Harry, with genuine concern.

Harry shakes his head and clears his throat to answer, “Um, well, no, I mean, we go _out_ but it’s usually more like fancy dinner reservations, ya know.” Niall nods. “Besides, you have to remember that Nick is ten years older than us, he’s basically a grandpa.” Harry giggles at the end of the snide remark.

“Good points. Besides, you’re such a lightweight. It’s not really any fun having to pick you up at the end of the night after a few shots, I don’t know why I always chose to go out with _you_ of all of our friends.” Harry scrunches his eyebrows and groans out a mocking _heeyyyyy_ before elbowing Niall in the ribs, causing him to let out a whine. “Hey! You know it’s true! You better be careful tonight, who knows how bad you are now.”

The bartender comes back over and slides their drinks towards them. The men reach out and grab their respective beverages of choice as Niall slides a note across the table to cover the tab.

“Here! Let’s make a toast!” Niall holds his pint glass into the air, signaling for Harry to do the same. “Here’s to your future and your new job, hoping it all goes well and, who knows, maybe it’ll even go up from here!! Cheers!” The men clink their glasses together and take sips simultaneously. Afterwards, Niall wraps his free arm around Harry, pulling him close and speaking against his ear.

“I’m so proud of you, H. I wish we could do things like this more often, but I guess that just makes moments like this more special. Let me know how it all goes, okay? I wanna know all about what you’re doing now.”

Harry pulls away, “Hey! Don’t get all sappy on me yet! We’re not even one drink in, come on.” His tone is flustered, but he keeps a hand tightly on Niall’s upper arm and gives it a soft squeeze, a signal that he appreciates the gesture. “Come on, wanna dance?”

***

After a few more drinks each and some awkward attempts at dancing together, Niall and Harry end up back at the bar, sitting alone with their drinks as they try to discuss important matters.

“Niall, how many times do I have to tell you, pineapple does _not_ go on pizza.”

“Oi! That’s where you’re wrong, lad! Salty and sweet is the best flavor combination there is, you absolutely cannot beat it.” his thick irish accent drawls, attempting to argue with Harry, as he tries to remember how they got on this topic in the first place.

Before Harry can retort, a loud voice calls from behind, “Niall!! Lad, it’s been a while!” The owner of the voice appears on the other side of Niall and leans on the bar, “How you been?”

Niall turns around and immediately throws his arms around the small frame of the other man. They tightly embrace for a moment before pulling away, the small, dainty man keeping his hands on Niall’s shoulders.

“I’ve been good! I’m too busy to come in lately, but I had to bring my man here,” Niall turns to Harry and points, Harry awkwardly smiling and waving back in return, “out to celebrate his big promotion at work.”

“Sick! Congrats on that, um, I think i missed your name, love.” the man reaches out for Harry’s hand, his eyes crinkling on the side as he smiles at him.

“Harry! ‘M Harry.” he shakes his head, feeling his face flush red from the nickname, and runs his fingers through his hair before reaching out for the other man's hand, gripping it tightly for a firm shake.

“I’m Louis, by the way, since Niall here can’t help us out,” Louis nudges Niall in the side, causing Niall to groan, “I’m a bartender here most nights but I come in on my days off sometimes. I get free shit, so,” Louis shrugs his shoulders, “why not?”

Harry and Niall hum in agreement as Louis asks, “so, how do you two know each other?”

***

“So you said this girl, uh, Barbara was it? Always does this to Niall?” Harry speaks slowly, asking Louis to explain the situation that just happened a few moments earlier.

Louis answers, his voice less startling than it had been a short while earlier, now that he is a few more drinks deep and it’s starting to hit. “Yeah, um, as far as I know they’re both regulars and she likes to lead him on - I don’t think they’ve gotten further than snogging out back, but I guess Niall enjoys whatever is going on.” he takes another sip of the bottle in his hand.

“Hm,” Harry pauses, “maybe he gets off on, ya know, being lead on.” he finishes his current cocktail, having lost count as to which one this was. “Where’s the loo? I really need a wee.”

“I’ll go with you,” Louis stands up straight, having to lean back onto the bar for support when everything hits at once.

Harry turns and steps towards Louis, immediately losing his balance and tumbling into the smaller framed man. Harry bursts into a fit of giggles as Louis pushes him back up straight. Louis holds onto both of Harry’s shoulders, keeping him upright.

“We good?” Louis has a sense of concern in his voice, even if he isn’t much better off than Harry is.

Harry nods and starts bouncing on his feet and whining, “ _Nooo_ , I need a _wee_.”

Louis finds Harry’s whining and desperation cute, but that could just be the alcohol talking, or maybe it’s Harry’s messy curls and dimples, or the cute giggle and the way his eyes squint when he laughs -

Louis snaps out of his daydream and leads them to the other side of the club, keeping a hand on Harry’s lower back to help guide him and attempt to keep him standing up straight. He struggles with feeling dizzy, but based on Harry stumbling over his own feet every few steps, he assumes he could be worse off. Miraculously, they make it through the loud bar area, having to divert their path a few times to avoid people snogging or dancing where they shouldn’t be.  

Once the bathroom is visible, Harry stops in his tracks and throws his head back with a loud groan.

“What is it?” Louis grabs Harry’s arm and looks him in the eyes, waiting for an answer. At this point, Harry’s curls are messy and hanging in his face. His lower lip is sticking out in a pout and Louis feels like he’s dealing with a toddler.

Harry exasperatedly throws his hands up in defeat, “ _Louis,_ there is a _line._ ” he states matter of factly before resuming the pout. Louis looks over towards the bathroom, noticing the few people waiting.

“Come on, it probably won’t take too long.” Louis places the hand back on Harry’s back, guiding him towards the bathroom. Much like a toddler, Louis wasn’t sure how Harry would react to being told what to do, but luckily he went along with it without a fight or tantrum.

Once the men got to the bathroom they realized that it wasn't a line at all, but instead a few men gathering outside of the doorway.

“I'll wait here,” Louis pulls his phone out of his pocket and signals for Harry to take care of his business and meet him back here. He unlocks the phone and checks the time before placing it back in his pocket. When he looks back up, Harry is still waiting for him.

“What is it?”

“Come with me,” Harry ends the statement with another pout.

Lacking the desire to argue, Louis decides to tag along as Harry takes a wee and does whatever else he decides to do. He points towards the bathroom door and follows Harry inside.

Once inside, Harry looks around in bewilderment as he seemingly forgets what he came in here for. Louis clears his threat and points towards the urinals, “looking for those?”

Harry stumbles over to the urinal and somehow manages to unzip his jeans without toppling over. Louis stands in the corner watching people walk in and out as he waits for Harry to finish his wee.

“Woah! Where did you get those shoes?” Harry slurs to the man three urinals down. The other man looks down and turns away, ignoring Harry. As he tucks himself back into his pants and zips his jeans, Harry walks down to the man and continues to speak to him. “They're kinda like mine,” Harry points to his own feet, “see? They're Gucci.”

Louis intervenes, pulling Harry away from the man, who seems to be uninterested in the exchange. “Harry, let’s go, come on.” He turns back and apologizes to the man, who is turning to wash his hands. “Come on, wash up so we can go back out.”

*** 

Stepping back out into the crowded club, Louis suddenly gets an urge that he doesn't get often. “Harry, you wanna dance?”

Harry stops in his tracks and answers with more energy than Louis has seen from him all night, squealing out a loud _yes_ as he grabs Louis’ arm and pulls him onto the floor where they work their way into the middle of the crowd.

Once they’re surrounded by other dancers, some good and some not so much, they try to work themselves in. Harry is first to start wiggling his hips and throw his arms in the air as he looks at Louis with a mischievous smirk. “Well?”

Louis shakes his head, laughing, “You look ridiculous.”

Harry shakes his head and reaches out, grabbing Louis and pulling him closer, “Who cares, I’m having fun! Go on!”

Since it was Louis’ idea to dance in the first place, he attempts to join Harry (it’s not like Harry is any good anyway, he thinks to himself). He sways his hips in rhythm with the music to please Harry, but soon realizes that even if Harry isn’t that great of a dancer, he has a great body that he could watch for hours.

“Hey, stay right here, okay? I’ll be right back, I promise.” Louis pulls away and crosses the dance floor back to the bar where they were earlier. Harry continues to dance alone but looks over every few minutes to see what Louis is doing, with little luck.

A while later Harry hears Louis’ voice over the crowd and looks over to see him walking back with two drinks in his hands. He stops to talk to a few people on the way, whom Harry assumes are regulars at the club and know Louis from that.

“Oi!” Louis hands over one of the cocktails to Harry, who doesn’t resist. Louis takes a sip of his own liquor and starts swaying his hips again, this time more loosely. Harry looks over his cocktail he’s sipping and raises his eyebrows before stepping closer to Louis and resuming his dancing.

Both men gradually get closer to each other as they continue to sway to the loud music surrounding them. After Louis takes the last sip of his drink, he leans down and places the glass on the floor before standing back up and stepping even closer to Harry, who smirks as he takes another sip of his cocktail.

Louis leans closer, whispering against Harry’s ear, “Can I touch?”

Harry quickly nods as Louis pulls away and places his hands on the dip of Harry’s waist, squeezing softly. Harry bites his lip and he locks eyes with Louis as he feels Louis’ hands slide down and back, covering his ass and pulling him closer so that their stomachs and groins are touching.

After Harry finishes his cocktail, his hands begin to roam, but settle on the dip of Louis’ back, keeping their bodies close together. Both men are rolling their hips in rhythm to the music and along with each other, their alcohol heavy breath commingling between obnoxious laughs and snide comments about the choices in music.

After one particularly bad joke, it takes Louis a few minutes to get Harry to stop cackling. Once he stops laughing, Harry still has a wide grin across his face and Louis can’t help but admire his beauty. Louis removes his hands from Harry’s ass and moves them up his back, settling them on Harry’s jaw as he tangles his fingers in Harry’s sweaty curls at the base of his neck. Harry melts to his touches as he pulls his face closer to his and connects their lips. It takes Harry a moment to adjust, but he eventually kisses Louis back and allows Louis to slip his tongue into his mouth.

Louis breaks the kiss but keeps their close proximity as he speaks lowly, “You wanna get out of here?”

***

Louis struggles with his keys as Harry clings onto him, kissing all over the back of his neck. Once he finally gets the door to his flat opened, both men tumble inside, reconnecting their lips as they collapse onto a nearby table. Harry wraps his legs around Louis’ waist and they continue kissing as Louis lifts them both up and carries Harry a few feet to a doorway across the small apartment. Once inside the room, that Harry can’t see because he has his face buried into Louis’ neck, Louis drops him onto a soft surface, that he soon realizes is a messy bed.

Frantically, Harry sits up and begins to remove his clothes, tossing them into the floor, lacking concern for any mess that may already be there. At the same time, Louis pulls his jeans off and starts to remove his pants as Harry drops into the floor in front of him. Harry runs his hands up Louis’ bare thighs and settles on his waist, running fingers over the waistband of Louis’ tight briefs.

“May I?” Harry looks up at Louis with his bottom lip between his teeth as he waits for an answer. Louis nods in return as he removes his t-shirt.

Harry slides Louis’ pants down enough for his semi hard cock to pop out before he grabs it and begins to stroke. Louis pushes his pants the rest of the way down and kicks them off as Harry continues. As soon as his cock starts to harden completely, Louis feels Harry’s hot breath fluttering against the tip as he leans closer.

At first Harry takes only the tip, pushing the foreskin back so he can lap around and pay attention to the slit. Louis looks down and chokes back a moan as he watches Harry flatten his tongue and run it up the vein along the backside of his cock. Once he reaches the tip again, he obscenely spits onto the shaft and jerks a few times before wrapping his lips around the tip again and beginning to slide down, taking the length all the way down his throat without hesitation.

As Harry continues to bob his head, taking the entire length down his throat each time, Louis reaches down and runs his fingers through Harry’s messy brown curls, pushing them out of his face. Harry looks up and Louis almost comes instantly when he sees the watery green eyes looking up at him with a hint of innocence, his cheeks hollowed out as he sucks on the tip again.

Harry pulls completely off and continues looking up at Louis with his bottom lip between his teeth while he jerks his length off. Before Louis can say anything, Harry ducks down and sucks one of Louis’ balls into his mouth. He hollows his cheeks out and swipes his tongue over it before he spits it out and takes the other one into his mouth and does the same.

“S-stand up,” Louis slurs as he tightens his grip on Harry’s hair and softly pulls him upwards. Harry listens to the command, giving one final lick to Louis’ sack before he stands up, connecting his lips to Louis’.

As their mouths work around each other, Louis walks and subtley pushes them both until the back of Harry’s legs hit the bed. Louis breaks the kiss and pushes Harry back onto the bed, crawling on top on all fours. Louis starts to leave sloppy kisses along Harry’s bare collarbones and chest as he reaches down and strokes Harry through the pants he still has on. Harry runs his fingers through the back of Louis’ hair, digging his nails into Louis’ neck as he continues to stroke him through his pants.

Louis pulls his hand away and sits up, eliciting a small whine from Harry who sits up on his elbows. Louis grabs a hold of the waistband of Harry’s pants and pulls them down, whispering _fuck_ when he sees his hard cock pop out. He throws them into the floor and stands up, staggering over to the bedside table as he opens a drawer and starts rummaging. He continues to dig and pulls out a bottle and a condom before slamming the drawer shut and walking back over to Harry, who has laid back down and started to stroke his own hard cock while he was waiting.

Louis crouches down and settles between Harry’s legs. He sits the bottle and condom down onto the floor as he spreads Harry’s legs, exposing his tight hole. Harry plants his heels onto the mattress to help keep his legs open as Louis picks up the bottle and clicks the top, squirting some of the gel onto his fingers.

Louis starts off by dragging one of his slick fingers down Harry’s taint and over his hole, making him quiver at the cold sensation. He then circles the opening with his thumb, making it flutter in response. After teasing and getting Harry accustomed to the cold, he places his middle finger against the entrance and pushes in slowly, meeting a slight resistance. Harry whines but doesn’t protest as Louis pulls the finger out and pushes it back in. With the finger still inside, Louis leans down and gently bites the inside of Harry’s exposed thigh, causing Harry to softly yelp and jerk his leg away. Louis repeats the process again with a second and third finger, making sure to kiss along Harry’s thick thighs as he continues.

Louis reaches down and grabs the condom he laid on the floor. He stands up at the end of the bed and opens the packaging, rolling the durex down his hardened length. He grabs the bottle of lube that’s on the bed and squirts some into his free palm before stroking himself a few times. He climbs back onto the bed and gets on all fours, fitting himself between Harry’s spread legs.

“Ready?” Louis asks, his face hovering inches above Harry’s, his fringe tickling Harry’s nose as he breathes. Harry swallows and nods in response.

Louis reaches down and aligns himself with Harry’s slick entrance, pushing in and meeting a slight resistance. Harry moans and clenches his eyes shut but doesn’t stop Louis from bottoming out. Louis immediately goes to pull out but Harry quickly reaches up and grabs his arm, digging his nails into the soft flesh of his bicep.  

“S-stop, hurts.” Harry whimpers out quietly. Louis stops where he is and leans down, connecting their lips to distract Harry from the pain. He swipes his tongue across Harry’s bottom lip and feels Harry’s teeth clench down to gently nip at him. After a few moments pass, Harry speaks again, this time saying it’s okay for Louis to move.

Louis moves his hips gently, pulling out a little more and slowly pushing back in. Both men gasp the next time he bottoms out and soon after Louis has developed a rhythm. Louis picks up speed and continues to fuck Harry as he leans down and starts kissing his neck. Harry digs his nails into the back of Louis’ shoulders, softly scraping him as Louis continues rocking them both in unison. On one particularly hard thrust, Harry yells out and Louis feels his thighs quiver around him.

Louis pauses and sits himself up straight, grabbing one of Harry’s legs and bending it out towards his shoulder. Keeping the leg in that place, Louis continues his thrusting and immediately he knows how much deeper this position hits. Harry throws his head back and clenches his teeth, his fingers gripping onto the bedsheets til his knuckles turn white.

“Does that feel good, huh?” Louis continues his thrusting and adds some teasing, wondering if Harry enjoys dirty talk.

Harry looks up at Louis, his eyes watery, “yeah, yeah, so good, _fuck”_ his voice comes out broken and hushed.

“I’m not gonna last much longer if you keep looking like that, shit,” Louis replies as he continues his thrusting, staggering a bit.

Up until now Harry has remained almost silent, letting out nothing more than the occasional whine or gasp, until he moans and starts to ramble.

“So big- such a big cock, feel so full, so tight,” he reaches down and presses on his stomach, feeling around for the bulge of Louis’ cock before he starts stroking himself in time with Louis’ thrusts.

“Oh, fuck, Christ,” Louis moans out as he pauses, his cock throbbing as he fills the condom while still inside of Harry. His breathing is heavy and ragged. “Holy shit.”

Harry continues to stroke himself, picking up speed before Louis reaches down and smacks his hand away and takes over.

“Come for me, gorgeous,” Louis eggs Harry on, “You can do it, c’mon.”

Louis noticed how Harry hooked his hand around the tip of his own cock, so he tried to replicate that, paying special attention to the pink head. Precum is leaking down Louis’ hand and he uses that to pick up speed, the slickened sound of his stroking, along with their heavy breathing, being the only sounds in the room.

“Come on, I know you can do it,” Louis says, keeping his pace as he strokes Harry to orgasm. Harry moans as long sprays of thick come cover his toned stomach and Louis’ hand, his thick thighs squeezing and quivering around Louis’ waist. Louis continues stroking, softly, making sure to squeeze out the last drops of semen from Harry’s spent cock.

Afterwards, Louis collapses on top of Harry, who is too tired to protest. He feels uncomfortable and remembers his soft cock still inside of Harry, so he reaches down and slips it out. He pulls the condom off, accidentally spilling some of his load in the process. It lands on Harry’s thigh and the bed, but neither care enough to clean it up at the moment. Louis tosses the durex across the small room where the bin is, hoping for the best.

Louis kisses Harry a few more times, Harry humming in response and kissing back, before climbing off of him and laying on the other side of the bed. He rolls over and throws his arm across Harry’s broad chest.

By the time he’s comfortable enough to sleep, he hears Harry’s soft snores. He falls asleep soon after.

 

_3rd March:_

The first thing Harry notices when he wakes up is his splitting migraine. His eyes are closed, but the light shining in through a nearby window is only making matters worse. He reaches up and runs his hand through his greasy hair, noting to take a shower ASAP. The second thing he notices is his painfully full bladder. He knows he should get up to take care of that, but he doesn’t want to make his headache any worse. In the end, his bladder wins and he opens his eyes to get up.

Immediately, he realizes the strange place he’s in. He turns his head to the side and sees a sleeping man beside him, but doesn’t remember exactly who he is or how he got there with him. He also realizes that they’re both naked and his stomach sinks, suddenly having some idea of why he’s there. When he slowly sits up and throws his legs from the bed, his guess is even more likely, due to his tight back and sore muscles.

The floor is scattered with clothing, both his and this other man's, he assumes. He reaches down and finds his own pants and pulls them up his legs. He stands and pulls them the rest of the way up as he patters across the carpeted floor, making his way into the rest of the apartment. He immediately sees an opened door across the living area that looks to be a bathroom. He quickly dashes across the room, as quietly as possible, for concern of his own migraine and waking anyone else.

He closes the door behind him and immediately goes to the toilet. He lets out a long sigh of relief as he empties his bladder, getting rid of one of his problems. Once he finishes he tucks himself back into his pants and flushes the toilet before walking over to the sink and turning it on. As he washes his hands he looks up at the mirror, shocked at how tired and gross he looks. One thing catches his eye in the mirror so he looks down, seeing what looks like dried come around his navel. As he bends over to look closer, he notices more of it down his leg, and immediately he chokes up.

Harry walks back to the toilet, putting the seat down as he sits. He places his head in his hands and immediately chokes back a soft sobbing sound. Not being able to hold it all back, he starts to cry, tears running down his face and landing on his knees. He manages to pause for a moment and sniffles, cringing as his migraine throbs. He grabs some toilet paper and blows his nose, tossing the wadded paper into the bin beside him as he tries to catch his breath and calm down.

A few minutes later he walks back to the bedroom, glad that the other man, who he thinks is named Louis, from what he can remember, is still asleep. He looks through the clothes in the floor and finds the rest of his outfit, glad that his wallet and phone are still in his coat pocket.

He gets dressed and walks out of the room, careful of his boot heels clicking against the hardwood floors in the living area. He looks back and wonders if he should wake Louis up to tell him he’s leaving, but decides to leave a note instead when he sees some paper on the entryway table. He grabs the notepad and one of the pens beside it and writes: _Sorry, but I had to go. This never should have happened, but you can call me if you want to talk about it. Please don’t mention this to anyone. Harry xx_

He adds his phone number at the bottom and folds the note and places it on the kitchen table, hoping that Louis would find it once he woke up. He then goes to the door and quietly opens it, slipping out without making too much noise, and closes the door behind him. He sees an elevator at the end of the hall and hopes it’ll lead to an exit downstairs. He rides it to the ground floor and luckily sees the lobby. Once he steps outside, he’s glad to know where he is. He pulls his phone from his pocket and unlocks it, squinting at the screen to see it in the sun. He sees multiple missed calls and texts from Niall, as well as a few other random notifications, one of which is from Nick. For the moment, Harry ignores these messages as to not get himself worked up again. He opens his dialer and makes a phone call.

“Hi, yeah, I need a cab.”

 

_4th March:_

Harry’s phone buzzes and he quickly grabs it from his coat pocket. He sees a text from Nick that says “just landed!” so he puts his phone back in his pocket and walks to the baggage area to wait for Nick and his luggage, whichever appears first. He looks over and sees people pouring through the gate across the terminal, his stomach sinking when he sees Nick. He begins to walk over towards his boyfriend, faking a smile and excitement so that nothing seems suspicious.

Once he gets closer, Nick breaks out in a wide grin and holds his arms out. “Harold!” he calls out and Harry can’t help but feel relieved to see him again, despite what happened. He opens his arms and both men connect in a long embrace, squeezing each other and swaying softly.

Nick’s familiar warmth and the scent of his cologne that Harry buys him is comforting and Harry isn’t sure if it’s making it harder or easier to hold himself together. Since he woke up in Louis’ bed, he has decided it would be best and easiest if Nick didn’t find out what happened, although he would have to suffer with his own guilt in the meantime.

Harry breaks the hug first, pulling away from Nick’s grasp around him, “You ready to get home?”

Nick smirks and raises his eyebrows in response. He surveys his eyes up and down Harry’s lean body before leaning in close and whispering next to Harry’s ear, “Gonna pick up where we left off before?” Harry feels Nick firm squeeze on his ass.

Normally, Harry would love this. Nick knows how much he loves being manhandled and worked up, and he especially knew how much it got to Harry knowing people were around to see it happen. Today, however, Harry had a sick feeling in his stomach at being touched, but he doesn’t want Nick to know that, so he gently brushes it off.  

“Come on, get your stuff. I left a roast on and I know you probably want a shower.” Harry pulls away and changes the subject without making it too obvious he isn’t interested in sex at the moment.

On the ride home, Nick rambles about his two weeks in LA. Harry nods along and asks a couple of questions, laughing when it seemed appropriate, but he doesn’t think he hears a single word of what Nick says. His mind is running a mile a minute, half of him thinking he should let Nick know, the other half thinking it would hurt too much and he should keep it to himself. He subconsciously hopes that his feelings of guilt subside soon, because he doesn’t know how to keep it a secret without keeping himself closed off, which is something that would be very obvious to those close to him.

 

_12th April:_

“Harry, dear, we’re on in fifteen minutes!” Harry hears a knock and Susan’s boisterously chipper voice. He sprints to open the door, catching her before she walks away.

He flashes a wide grin and remarks, “just let me change my trousers and I’ll be out, ‘lright?” Susan nods understandably and walks away, Harry closing the door behind her.

He walks over to his newly added rack of clothes. He has always had an interest in fashion and he felt like being on TV, even if it was briefly, was the perfect opportunity to be able to show off a few of his favorite looks. Occasionally, he would wear a casual ensemble while he did his office work, but change into something more interesting right before filming starts.

He flips through each item of clothing, having an idea of which one he’s going for in his head but making sure to give the others a chance, as well. Once he gets to a pair of his liking, he pulls it off the hanger and drapes it across the back of a nearby chair as he removes his boots and jeans. He picks the trousers up, a dark grey pair with red and navy blue plaid designs, and slips them on, easily getting them all the way up. He stands up straight and adjusts his pants under the trousers before attempting to zip and button them up. When he gets to that point, he notices a slight resistance, which is uncommon. His zipper struggles to make it to the top, and he has to tug to make the button clasp.

He feels slightly out of breath after managing to get the tight trousers on, which is also uncommon because he isn’t out of shape. He walks to the mirror on the back of his door to see how noticeable it is that his trousers are too small. Immediately, his stomach sinks. His hips are seemingly billowing over the edge of the waistband, and when he turns to the side, there is the slightest bit of belly pudge doing the same. He runs his hands over the excess, bothered by the difference and how much the trousers enunciate the softness.

To make himself feel better, he assumes it’s the trousers themselves (even if they weren’t like that when he tried them on a couple of weeks earlier) and decides to try another pair. After three more pair do the same, he gives up and sinks to the floor, placing his head in his hands. He doesn’t even notice at first, but a few tears roll down his face. It’s not until he looks back up that he realizes how hard he’s crying. He sniffles, eyeing the box of tissues on his desk. He manages to climb up from the floor and grab one, blowing his nose and wiping off his wet chin where the tears have run down.

He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror again, noticing the way his blouse rides up on his lovehandle, and loses it again. He sinks down onto the floor, crossing his legs and lifting his shirt, letting out a soft sob when he sees the way his belly is rolled over the waistband. A moment later he hears a knock at his door.

“Um, Mr. Styles? We need you in makeup,” Harry recognizes the voice as one of the crew members that works at the station.

He immediately perks up, drying his eyes with his palms. “Sorry! I’ll be right out, just give me a minute.” He hears the man walk down the hall.

He reaches onto his desk and grabs another tissue, blowing his nose again. After taking a few deep breaths, he stands back up and quickly removes the trousers and puts his original jeans back on, he briefly wonders why they fit if the others don’t but doesn’t have the time to think about it right now. He walks back to the make sure his hair is in place, hoping that it isn’t too noticeable that he was just crying. He leaves his office, coming up with an excuse as to why he didn’t change his clothes as he sprints to the studio.

_19th April:_

“You _know_ I’m on a diet until further notice,” Harry states sternly. It’s early and he’s laying on Nick’s chest, listening to him suggest places they should go out for dinner. Every suggestion hasn’t suited Harry’s new eating habits, something that Nick doesn’t exactly approve of.

Nick reaches down and grabs a handful of Harry’s bare ass, “I already told you that you’re not fat, I honestly think the new weight is pretty sexy, if I’m honest.”

Harry sits up, his legs on either side of Nick’s slim waist. “It doesn’t matter what _you_ think, love, I can’t let go of myself. I’m on TV now,” he flashes a cheeky, dimply grin at the end of the sentence.

Nick runs his hands up and down Harry’s bare sides, stopping once he gets to his hips and squeezing tightly, he let’s out a _tsk_ and shakes his head, “Suit yourself but I’m going to enjoy it in the meantime.”

“Oh yeah?” Harry smirks as he leans down, placing either hand on the pillow around Nick’s head, holding himself a few inches above Nick’s face.

Nick struggles to hold in a laugh, finding it adorable how serious Harry gets sometimes. He lets out a small giggle and a soft _yeah_ as he gropes Harry’s ass. In response, Harry leans down and connects their lips, pecking at first and gradually increasing in intensity.

It’s been almost two months since Harry slept with Louis, and he thinks he’s finally getting over it. Aside from the rare overwhelming feelings of guilt, he usually forgets it happened. He feels bad for not telling Nick, but thinks he made the right decision because it’s something that he’s dealing with on his own. He believes that it was a drunken mistake that won't happen again and there's no need to put a strain on their relationship over it. One thing that hasn’t returned to normal is their sex life. Aside from the occasional rimjob or blowie, they haven’t really done much, but Harry blames that on him constantly being tired from his job.

Nick gently bites under Harry’s ear, the spot he knows gets him going. He slides one of his middle fingers down and rubs it over Harry’s entrance, feeling it twitch under his light touch. Harry gasps softly, his face buried in Nick’s neck as Nick taps his finger against his hole a few times.

“What do you want?” Nick nearly growls into Harry’s ear, feeling his body go limp on top of him. “Tell me.”

“Fuck me,” Harry whines back, nuzzled into Nick’s neck. “Please.”

“Hm, I suppose, since you asked so nicely,” Nick uses his free hand to reach into the table beside them, grabbing the small bottle of lube. He uses his thumb to click it open and raises his head a bit to see where to squirt it, accidentally dropping some on Harry's lower back in the process.

He closes the bottle and drops it on the bed, knowing they'll probably need it again. He runs the same middle finger down Harry's crack, this time leaving a cool, tingly trail. He rubs Harry’s entrance in small circles before slipping the tip of his finger inside. He gradually sinks his finger all the way in, with little resistance.

“Another?” Nick asks, sliding the one finger in and out of Harry's slick entrance. He feels Harry nod and whisper _yeah._

As Nick makes sure the next finger is slick, Harry suddenly sits up straight. He reaches around and smacks Nick’s hands away, “Stop, stop!”

“Are you alright? What is it?” Nick rubs Harry's bare sides, looking up at him with concern. This hasn't ever happened during sex, or leading up to it, so he didn't know what to expect.

“I-I’m-” before he can finish, Harry climbs off of Nick and off the bed, running towards the ensuite bathroom. He drops to the floor in front of the toilet and vomits, thankful that the seat had been left up. Nick follows him, standing in the doorway for a brief moment before squatting on the floor beside him, rubbing his back.

Nick reaches over and holds back the loose hairs that are dangling in Harry’s face as he throws up. Once he finishes, Harry lets out a groan and collapses into the floor, wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand. Nick flushes the toilet and looks down at Harry, who is now halfway leaned onto the bathtub.

Both men sit in silence for a moment before Harry weakly reaches out to Nick with grabby hands, wanting help standing up. Nick stands up and reaches down, helping Harry stand, asking him, “You okay?”

Harry nods and walks to the sink, rinsing his mouth out with water before brushing his teeth. Nick hovers behind Harry, watching him in the mirror as he flosses. Harry notices and raises his eyebrows at him before turning around, “I’m fine now, it must have been something I ate.” He turns back to his flossing as Nick turns and leaves the room.

A few minutes later Harry emerges from the bathroom and walks over to a dresser, opening the top drawer and pulling out a pair of clean pants. He puts them on and reaches down to situate himself comfortably. He looks over at Nick, who is back in bed, scrolling on his phone, and says, “I’m sorry I ruined the mood, I couldn’t really help it. Rain check?”

Nick puts his phone down and looks up at Harry and smiles, “I know, are you sure you’re okay? Do you need to stay home?”

Harry pulls on his jeans, wiggling his hips to get them on. “I feel great, no need to sit around all day.”

Nick gets up and walks over to Harry, wrapping his arms around his bare waist and pulling him close, “as long as you’re sure that you’re okay.” He pecks Harry on the lips a couple times, “you finish getting dressed, I’ll go make us some breakfast.”

 

_22nd April:_

“‘M fine, Nick, I promise,” Harry mumbles from beneath the duvet. “I just need to rest, ‘s all.”

After waking up with a splitting headache and feeling tired and sore all over, despite not doing anything strenuous the day before, Harry decided he should take Nick’s advice and stay home from work for a day. He made Nick call in for him and said he would just spend the day in bed.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to bring you anything?” Nick asks for the 10th time it seems. “I don’t want you walking around if you don’t feel well. You need the rest, _deserve_ it.”

Nick seems to think that Harry is overworking himself with his new promotion, even if it is a pretty laid back position and he has had time to adjust. Harry also argues that he loves it, so even if it is wearing him down, he refuses to change his ways.

“I’m fine, love. Now _go_ , you’re going to be late.” Harry pipes up, getting a tad bit annoyed that Nick is being so persistent. “I’m fine and I will let you know if anything changes, okay?”

Nick walks over to the bed and leans down, placing a kiss onto Harry’s forehead, “Okay.”

As Nick turns to leave the room, Harry speaks one last time, “love you, Nicholas.”

Nick turns around, “love you, too, _Harold_.” Harry grins at the remark, watching as Nick leaves the room and goes down the stairs. A few moments later he hears the front door open as he leaves for work.

Once he’s left alone, Harry decides to try and watch some TV. He searches for the remote and soon realizes that nothing decent is on this early in the morning, so he settles for the last 45 minutes of _The Notebook._ Within those 45 minutes though, he falls back to sleep.

He wakes up a while later and checks the clock, noting that it’s been a couple hours. He feels hot and sticky, but assumes it’s from being wrapped in the duvet. He throws off the covers, noting how sore his arms and shoulders are when he does so, before he stands up and walks downstairs. He walks to the refrigerator and opens it, looking for something to eat in hopes that it’ll help him feel better.

He finds a container of leftover stir fry from the night before and grabs it, closing the fridge door with his hip as he removes the lid and walks towards the microwave. He puts the tupperware into the microwave and presses a button for 2 minutes. As he tosses the lid from the bowl into the sink he notices a bunch of bananas on the counter so he grabs one of them and peels it, taking a bite while he watches his leftovers rotate.

After the second bite, he begins to feel a bit queasy, but ignores it. When the microwave beeps, he lays his banana on the counter and grabs his stir fry, quickly placing it onto the counter before he burns himself. He walks over to the cutlery drawer and grabs a fork before mixing his food up, testing to make sure it’s hot throughout. As he mixes, the smell intensifies and so does his queasiness. He quickly places the bowl back onto the counter and dashes to the half bathroom down the hall.

After vomiting and cleaning himself up, he goes back to the kitchen and throws the stir fry and banana into the rubbish bin, tossing the dirty tupperware into the sink before he goes back upstairs and climbs back in bed, feeling just as bad as he did when he woke up that morning.

After tossing and turning in bed for an hour or so, Harry decides he should go see a doctor, since he isn’t getting any better. He gets dressed and makes sure he looks presentable before he leaves. Before he backs out of the driveway he texts Nick, “Hey love. I’m not feeling much better so I’m going to run up to the clinic. Don’t worry about me though xx”

***

After a brief wait in the doctor's surgery, Harry gets called back by a nurse, who weighs him before taking him to a private area where she takes his temperature and blood pressure, noting that he has a slight fever.

“So, Harry, what seems to be the issue, dear?” she smiles softly as she begins to take notes on her clipboard.

Harry clears his throat before answering. “I, um, I have been feeling very drained and tired, for a few weeks now,” the nurse nods, “I’ve also been very woozy and I’ve thrown up a few times lately.”

The nurse writes this down before asking, “Is that all? Have you noticed anything like weight gain or mood swings?”

Harry’s stomach drops, having some idea where this is going. “Um, kinda? My clothes have been fitting weird. I dunno about mood swings, though, but I have been really stressed with work.”

The nurse keeps writing before leaving the room. As she walks out, she places the clipboard in a slot on the door and says, “the doctor will be with you shortly, dear.”

As she asked those questions, Harry started to assume what the problem was. Unfortunately, if his assumptions are correct, it’s going to be something that’s hard to deal with. He tries to count backwards and figure out where he went wrong, which only causes him to feel worse. Before he could get himself too worked up with his thoughts, the doctor walks in.

“Hello dear, how have you been?” the doctor makes small talk with Harry as she checks his heart rate and looks into his eyes and ears.

“I’ve been better, to be honest,” Harry smiles, trying to make easy of the situation even if he is screaming inside at the possibilities.

“So, the nurse tells me you’ve been very tired and nauseated lately? Anything else?”

Harry thinks for a moment, “um, no, I don’t think so, I mean- besides everything I told her about being stressed and maybe gaining a few pounds.”

“Well, based on these symptoms I think I’m going to have to do a few tests to verify anything. Do you think you could provide a urine sample right now?”

Harry’s stomach drops, “probably.”

The doctor walks over to a cabinet and pulls out a plastic cup. She turns back and hands it to Harry, “Here, I can show you where the bathroom is and then after that you can bring the cup in here and the nurse will take care of it.”

Harry nods and follows the doctor out of the room and to the end of the hallway. She leads him to the bathroom and adds, “don’t feel the need to rush. If you need any water there is a water cooler over there,” she points across the hall.

The doctor leaves Harry alone and he goes into the bathroom. He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself a little before he attempts to fill the cup, glad that he can do it on one try without having to drink water and wait, which would only allow more time to panic. After getting enough of a sample, he washes his hands and sits on the toilet for a few minutes, taking deep breaths and trying to prepare himself for the news he’s expecting to get.

After a while, Harry emerges from the bathroom and immediately the nurse from earlier catches him and reaches out, “ready for testing?” Harry nods and hands the cup over.

“You can go back to your room for now, we’ll let you know shortly when the results come in,” the nurse chimes before turning around and walking to what must be the lab. Harry wonders how she keeps that happy demeanor going.

He sits in his room for a while, trying not to think too much, but failing. If it isn’t what he _thinks_ it is, then he has no idea what else is possible, which only makes him feel worse. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and immediately feels even worse when he sees that he has a text from Nick that says, “I’m hoping for the best, love. Wanna hear good news when I get home! xx”

Before he can reply, the doctor walks in. He slips his phone into his back pocket and looks up, suddenly feeling his pulse through his entire body as he fears what he's about to hear.

“So the results came back,” the doctor pauses, “and I don't really know how to sugar coat this but, like I thought from your symptoms, you're pregnant.”

*** 

As if the news wasn’t bad enough on its own, the doctor needed to do an ultrasound in order to detect how far along Harry was in his pregnancy. With that, she concluded that the baby had been conceived around the beginning of March, when Nick was in LA. Miraculously, Harry kept control of himself as the doctor showed him the baby and then went through some of his options. Since it was an unexpected pregnancy, the doctor reminded him that abortion was an option, which only set off a different string of emotions.

As the day goes on, Harry makes two decisions. Neither one is easy, and they’re the results of multiple crying fits each, but he decides that it’s the best for the well-being of himself and of his unborn child. First off, he wants to keep the baby. Secondly, he has to tell Nick the truth about Louis and how this happened. The problem, however, is the fact that he has roughly 7 months to figure out the first one, but only a few hours for the second one, knowing that Nick is going to ask as soon as he gets home from work and he deserves the truth.

When it’s almost time for Nick to get home, Harry makes sure that he gets ahold of himself, not wanting to make anything too obvious. He also makes dinner in an attempt to distract Nick, almost wondering if he acts normal enough that Nick won’t ask what the doctor told him, which will give him time to come up with a solution to a problem that can’t be solved.

Nick walks in as Harry is finishing up their dinner, and Harry immediately notices the smile on his face as he walks towards him. “You’re looking better,” Nick wraps his arms around Harry’s waist, pulling him close as he reaches up and kisses his forehead. “So what did they say?”

Harry’s stomach sinks, his plan being shot (even if it wasn’t a good plan in the first place), but he puts on a smile anyway, “How about we eat before it gets cold? It can wait.”

Nick raises his eyebrows in suspicion, but doesn’t argue, “Of course, it looks good, like always.”

Both men make their plates and carry them to the dining room. They eat almost in silence, aside from a few comments that Nick makes about work or things he saw while he was driving. Harry makes himself eat, lucky that the doctor gave him something to tone down the nausea, but his nerves were shot, making it hard to eat anything.

After eating as much as he can handle, Harry excuses himself to start cleaning up the kitchen, which isn’t _completely_ unusual for him to do. He notices his hands shaking as he tries to wash his plate, but hopes it dies down before Nick notices.

“You need any help?” Nick walks into the kitchen, carrying his dirty dishes and placing them in the sink in front of Harry.

“Yeah, can you bring me those pans, please?” he avoids making any eye contact as he continues to scrub what’s in the sink. He mumbles, “thank you,” as Nick places the pots from the stove in front of him. “You wanna go get changed while I finish up? I’m almost done.”

Nick places a kiss on Harry’s temple, “yeah, be right back.”

While Nick is upstairs changing into something more comfortable, Harry quickly wipes the counters and does any last touch ups to the kitchen. He then walks to the living room and sits on the couch, trying not to be too tense when Nick gets back. Rather than keep pushing it off, Harry feels like he should let Nick know what happened.

When Nick returns downstairs, he sits on the couch beside Harry and reaches out for the TV remote, but Harry stops him, “Nick, we need to talk about something.” his voice comes out hushed and serious, Nick immediately shrinking back to the couch, wondering what could be so serious.

“Okay? I’m here, what is it?”

Harry is facing the wall in front of him, he pauses and takes a deep breath as he tries to think of the best way to say what needs to be said. “So, um,” he swallows loudly, “today at the doctor's surgery.”

Nick cuts him off abruptly, “Yeah? What did they say?”

Harry turns towards Nick but looks down at the space of couch between them, not having the strength to look Nick in the eyes when he says, “I’m pregnant.”

Nick gasps, “Really?!” his voice is energetic and he seems pleasantly surprised. Harry isn’t sure if the positive reaction will help or hurt his situation.

Harry doesn’t say anything, but instead walks across the room and grabs a piece of paper from the table next to the doorway. He walks back to where Nick is sitting and hands him the piece of paper without comment.

Nick grins from ear to ear as he looks at the ultrasound picture. It isn’t really showing much, obviously, but it still confirms and makes things official. “This is amazing, love. Of course we weren’t planning on it so soon but-”

Harry cuts Nick off when he suddenly has an outburst, a loud sob escaping him as he starts to tremble and cry. Nick immediately drops the paper onto the coffee table in front of them and tries to calm Harry down.

Nick pulls Harry close, rubbing his side as he starts to speak softly, “I know its sudden but you don’t have to cry, sweetheart. Okay? We have the money and a house and we have _time_ to figure things out, okay? It’ll be fine, baby, I promise, please don’t be so upset.”

At this point, Harry is bawling into Nick’s chest, only getting worse the more Nick speaks. Nick eventually gives up and tries to let Harry cry it out, wondering if it’s just his hormones that are the issue.

Suddenly, Harry pulls away from Nick and sits up, his face red and puffy with tears. He starts to shake his head and looks back at Nick before crying again, this time putting his face in his hands. “I’m s-so s-sorry,” Harry attempts to speak through his hysterics.

Nick reaches over, rubbing Harry’s back, “don’t be sorry. This isn’t your fault, love, it’s both of us and we can deal with it.”

Harry shakes his head harshly, “no, n-no, you don’t understand.”

“What don’t I understand?” Nick speaks softly and slowly, not trying to get Harry anymore worked up than he already is.

Harry takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down before he starts to explain himself. “When...when you were in LA, and Niall took me out,” Harry pauses to take a few more deep breaths, “and there was this guy, and I was really drunk and-” he pauses again, this time too choked up to continue.

Nick shakes his head, “Harry, what are you talking about?”

“I….I..I went home with him and...we had sex, at his apartment.” Harry starts crying again, knowing he officially can’t go back now.

Nick sits in silence, pulling his hand away from Harry as he thinks. As Harry continues to cry, Nick gets choked up himself. “So...you’re trying to tell me...that you cheated on me? Why didn’t you mention this before? Did you just think I’d never find out?” he stops himself before he gets angry or more upset. At this point, he almost can’t believe it, but doesn’t know why Harry would make something like that up.

Harry looks down at the floor, running his hands through his hair as he thinks for a moment. He speaks slowly, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. I am sorry _,_ okay? I _know_ I fucked up and this is all my fault but I feel _so_ bad about it. I love you and I would never hurt you on purpose, okay? It was a mistake and I thought I would protect you by not telling you but when I found out about the baby I-”

Nick cuts him off, sharply, “Stop. It doesn’t matter. It’s over with now and I think we both need to think it through before we do anything we’ll regret.” he then stands up and leaves the room. Harry hears him walk up the stairs and close the door to their bedroom.

To avoid making matters worse, if that’s possible, Harry spends the night on the couch, trying to decide what to do next.

 

_2nd May:_

Through a decision that was made primarily by Harry, he is staying with Niall while he figures out what he thinks he should do. Nick eventually came back and told Harry that, while it wouldn’t be easy, he thinks having a baby would be a good way for them to work out any problems in their relationship. He also told Harry that even though the baby wasn’t biologically his, he feels like he would take responsibility for it and be there in its life since “ _you probably don’t even know it’s real father.”_

Harry doesn’t agree with Nick’s idea because he thinks he messed up their relationship to a point it can’t be fixed, even if it is due to his overarching guilt that won’t seem to go away. Regardless, he believes that spending some time alone will help him decide what the best option would be.

When he asked to stay with Niall for a while, Harry didn’t exactly mention why, instead he just said he and Nick were having some issues and needed some time alone. Niall didn’t ask too many questions at the time, but harry has been trying to figure out how to tell him what happened. He also wants to ask Niall’s opinion on some of his ideas, especially since they relate to Louis, who Niall has known for longer and might know him better.

One evening when Niall gets home from work, Harry decides now is as good a time as any to tell him why he’s actually there. They’re sitting in the living room, Niall watching football while Harry works on one of his segments on his MacBook. During one of the commercial breaks, Harry asks, “How much longer is this going to be on?”

Niall takes a sip from his beer, “not too much longer, I’d assume. Why?”

Harry shrugs, “I was just wondering, I was gonna ask something but I don’t want to distract you or anything. It can wait.”

Niall nods and turns back to his game. Harry continues his work while running the conversation with Niall through his head. He contemplates how he should approach the topic and how sudden he should be about it.

After the game is over and Niall accepts the results, he turns to Harry, “So what was that question?”

Harry closes his laptop and clears his throat, “Okay, before I say anything just promise you won’t get mad or judge me or anything like that?”

Niall scrunches his brow and raises his hands, “Come on, you know I wouldn’t judge and I doubt I’ll be mad.”

Harry picks at the skin on his lip as he mumbles, “How much do you know about Louis?”

“From the club?” Harry nods, “I don’t know too much, besides that he’s from Donny and works at the bar. I think he’s mentioned that he has some younger sisters and a brother back home. Why?”

“Just wondering. Do you have a way to talk to him? Besides actually going to find him at work?”

Niall nods, “Yeah, I have his number in my phone. What d’ya need to talk to him for?”

Harry clears his throat again and briefly pauses before saying, “I, um, wanted to talk to him to tell him that,” he pauses, Niall eyeing him down, “I’m pregnant with his baby.”

Niall seemingly chokes on air, “You’re _what!?”_

Harry, surprisingly calm during this, continues, “That night at the club I guess I got a little too drunk and made a mistake, okay? I feel really bad about it and I know it’s potentially ruining my entire life but I’ve been trying to come up with the best solution and the one I keep considering is just to tell Louis and see how he feels?”

Niall remains confused, “and how does Nick feel about this?”

“He surprisingly took it well and eventually said he would try to forgive me and raise the baby himself,” he pauses, looking down at his hands on his laptop, “but I just feel too guilty to let him do that.”

“And how exactly do you expect Louis to respond to the news that he knocked up a one night stand? You barely even know him.”

Harry’s stomach drops due to Niall’s tone and the valid point, “I’m not sure. I don’t expect him to drop everything and want to be a dad, but I also think the right thing to do is at least let him know.” he thinks for a moment before continuing, “I also worry a bit because the morning after we, ya know, I left him a note saying that I made a mistake but I left my number and told him to call me if he wanted to talk about it and he never did.”

“Well, I think you might have realized this yourself but, Louis is a good guy, so I don’t think he’d get too mad if you told him. The least you could do is try, I suppose. I’ll give you his number.” Niall reaches over and grabs his phone from the end table, unlocking it and scrolling through his contacts, coming to _Louis Tomlinson._ He turns the screen towards Harry, who types the number into a new contact on his phone.

“Thanks for that. I don’t know when I’ll have the nerves to do it but I’ll get there eventually.” Harry smiles softly, looking back at Niall.

Niall closes the space between them and brings Harry in for a hug. He squeezes Harry tightly and Harry smiles into his neck when he hears him speak, “Thanks for telling me. I love you and want the best for you, so I’m gonna be rooting for you while we figure this out. I trust you can make the best decision.”

After they pull away from their tight embrace, Harry adds, “I love you, too. Thanks for always being there.” he suddenly perks up and raises his eyebrows, “Oh! You wanna see the ultrasound?”

 

_8th May:_

Harry feels his body shake as he hovers his thumb over the green dialer. He quickly taps it and holds his phone to his ear, hearing it ring. The longer it rings the worse he feels and considers just giving up, until finally a familiar high voice picks up, “Hello?”

“Hi, um, is this Louis?” Harry mentally hits himself, feeling like an idiot and wishing he never did this in the first place.

Louis laughs sharply, “Yeah, it is. This is Harry, correct?”

“How did you-” Harry is confused as to how Louis immediately recognized him, assuming he wasn’t good enough to remember his voice that well.

“Well you left your number. I saved it into my phone but never got the balls to call you, sorry.” he giggles at the end, Harry can almost imagine him blushing in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry I did that. I considered waking you up to talk to you but-”

Louis cuts him off, “No worries! Besides, I don’t much appreciate being woken up, I think you made a good decision.”

Harry catches himself smiling, almost feeling good about the possible outcome of this situation. “So um, the reason I called. I was wondering if you’d like to meet for lunch one day? I’ve felt bad about just leaving you hanging. Felt like you deserved better after you took care of my messy ass all night.”

Louis laughs again, “It wasn’t a problem. I quite enjoyed it, honestly. I think lunch would be nice, yeah.”

After talking to Louis for a few minutes and making plans to meet him the next day, Harry has a positive outlook on the situation. He immediately is comforted by Louis’ polite demeanor, and he hopes that's a regular thing and not just a show he puts on. He’s also glad that Louis admitted that he didn’t have the courage to call him, showing that he was nervous about the situation and having to talk to Harry about it. At this point, the best thing he could ask for is Louis not being mad or shutting himself off when he finds out.

 

_9th May:_

Harry is jittery as he sits at a cafe table waiting for Louis. He repeatedly checks his phone, wondering if he arrived too early. He asks for a water when the waitress walks by, taking a sip when he looks up and sees Louis walking towards him. Immediately Harry notices that Louis isn’t as clean shaven as he was when they met before, but instead has a full, well kept beard.

Harry quickly stands up, reaching out to pull Louis into a quick hug before both men sit down across from each other. They’re both in pleasant spirit as they greet and start to talk, immediately feeling that same connection they felt as soon as they met the first time.

As lunch goes on, Harry’s nerves die down because he’s distracted by their small talk and conversation. As they get towards the end of their food, Harry starts getting stressed again, knowing that he brought Louis here for a reason and he needs to tell him.

After taking a few more sips of his water, Harry sits his glass back on the table. He clears his throat before speaking softly, “Louis, there’s something I have to tell you.”

Louis apparently senses the seriousness in Harry’s voice as he leans a bit closer and replies, “What?”

Harry leans in slightly closer, just so he can speak as softly as possible without other people hearing him. He swallows harshly before coming out and saying it. “I’m pregnant. It’s yours.”

Louis immediately leans back into his seat, his eyebrows raised in shock as he blinks a few times. He places his head in his hands and takes a deep breath, whispering _fuck._ He stays like that for a moment, Harry refusing to move or say anything out of fear of what Louis could do next. A few moments later, Louis pushes his hands up, running them through his hair, messing up his fringe. He takes another deep breath before he whispers again, “and you’re sure it’s mine?”

Harry nods his head. He speaks barely louder than a breath, “yeah.”

Louis nods again, raising his eyebrows as he looks to the side and lets out a sigh.

“Louis, I’m sorry, I thought you’d at least like to know-” Harry whispers, getting cut off by Louis’ slightly louder, faster voice.

“No, Harry, _I’m_ sorry. This is my fault and I feel bad that you’re pregnant with _my_ child. I already know that I’d be a terrible father, just like mine was.” his voice comes out sharp and slightly choked.

Harry immediately begins to panic, not knowing what to do in this situation with this side of Louis that he hasn’t seen. “Please, no, don’t say that. I’m not asking you to stay. It’s up to you to decide what _you_ want to do. I’m keeping the baby, but it’s completely up to you whether or not you want to be involved.”

Louis takes a deep breath through his nose, his jaw clenched.

Harry continues, “I know this is a huge thing to get dropped on you all at once, and I don’t expect an immediate response, but I’d at least like for you to think about it and do whatever feels best.”

Louis nods, suddenly unclenching and softening out. “Yeah...yeah, I’ll do that. I want to help you out as much as possible with this, if that’s okay. I obviously don’t know what that means yet but I can figure it out.”

Harry smiles softly, “We have time. About 32 weeks if you wanted to be precise.” he giggles at the end, getting a smile from Louis in return.  

Louis suddenly gets a little serious again, “Harry, since we’re being so open and honest here, can I ask you something?”

Harry suddenly feels nervous again, but figures Louis can’t say anything worse than what's already been said. “Of course.”

“When you left, and you left the note, you said it, what we did, was a mistake,” Louis pauses, his face scrunching up in confusion, “what exactly did you mean by that?”

“About that,” he pauses, biting his bottom lip as he looks down at the table and thinks of a response, “I actually, um, have a boyfriend.”

Louis lets out a cackle, looking down at the table as he shakes his head and mumbles, “of course you do.”

“What does _that_ mean?” Harry says, feeling slightly offended.

Louis softly shakes his head again, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything it’s just,” he takes a deep breath, “ _a lot._ As if the baby isn’t enough, I have an enemy now, I’m sure he isn’t happy with any of this.”

“He’s coming along. He’s been more forgiving than I have. I’m actually living with Niall at the moment because I can’t bear to let myself live with him knowing what I did.”

Louis keeps his eyes on his empty plate in front of him, “Oh.”

Harry doesn’t respond, instead looking across the table at Louis who looks back up at him and smiles weakly.

“I actually think I should get going. I have a lot to think about.” Louis starts to slide out of the booth as Harry reaches over and grabs his hand.

“Thank you, for being so understanding. I was afraid you would have an outburst or something. You don’t know how hard all of this is for me and it makes it so much easier knowing I have you along for the ride.” Harry laughs, trying to make light of the situation.

Louis looks down at Harry’s hand on his, “from what I’ve seen, I think that you’re a wonderful person that just made a mistake. We all do it. I think this is just as much my fault and responsibility as it is yours, and, like I said, I want to help you as much as possible.”

Harry squeezes his grip on Louis’ hand and repeats himself, mouthing “ _thank you.”_ Louis smiles back before pulling away and standing up. He pulls his wallet out of his back pocket and finds a £20 note, enough to cover both of them, and places it on the table before he turns and leaves the restaurant without another word.

 

_12th May:_

Ever since their meeting three days earlier, Harry hasn’t stopped thinking about how Louis acted when he told him the news. On one hand, it was a lot better than he could have expected, since he wasn’t angry or hostile, but at the same time, he also realized that he doesn’t know Louis that well, and based on some of his words, he seems to have inner issues that Harry needs to figure out if he wants to trust him with their child.

A day later, Louis had called Harry and asked him if they could get together again to talk about some more things. Harry told him he wouldn’t be available for two more days, but he was welcome to come over to Niall’s and visit then.

It’s now two days later and Harry is frantically scurrying around Niall’s small apartment to make sure it’s decent enough for a new guest. He clears the kitchen counters of any junk and fluffs the couch pillows, vacuuming the floors while loudly playing Fleetwood Mac. He finishes early, running around and fixing a few small things, as he notices a stain on his shirt. He goes back into the guest room, where he’s staying, and digs through his clothes to find something to change into. He pulls out a flowy red shirt with frills around the neck and collar and thinks it's good enough. He pulls off the stained shirt and tosses it into the corner, making a mental note to try and get it out later on. As he pulls the red one over his head, he walks over to the mirror, playing with his hair as he adjusts the shirt around his waist and shoulders. He pulls the shirt up to look at his belly, turning to the side to see if there was any significant difference showing yet. He bends his back and pokes his hips out to give himself the illusion of having a bump before he pouts and drops the shirt back down.

A few seconds later, Harry nearly jumps out of his skin as he hears a knock at the front door. He quickly walks to the door, stopping on his way to cut his music off, opening it to find Louis holding a bouquet of flowers. “Oi, sick music taste.”

Harry feels his face flush, “Oh, thanks, um, come in?” He moves and motions his arm to the living room, Louis walking inside. “What are those?” Harry asks, unable to hide his excitement for the bunch of daisies.

Louis shrugs a bit, “Oh, I just thought they were pretty and I don’t really have a place for them. Thought they could be a bit of a congratulatory gift?” He hands them over to Harry.

“Thank you, they’re beautiful,” Harry shoves his nose into a flower, taking a deep breath, sighing as he pulls away. Louis looks at him with endearment. “I’ll take these to the kitchen if you want to sit down?”

“Yeah, sure, thanks.” Louis walks over and plops down onto the couch, accidentally flattening one of Harry’s pillows as he waits for him to come back.

Harry peeks his head around the doorway, “Hey, Louis, were you thirsty?”

“Oh, no, I’m fine, thanks.” Louis smiles as Harry disappears around the corner again.

When he walks back to the living room, Harry sits on the opposite end of the couch from Louis, leaving space between them but making sure to face Louis, since they’ll be talking. He takes a sip from his bottle of water before putting the lid back on and sitting it in his lap. He clears his throat before speaking softly, “So, I guess we should get to the point.”

“What _is_ the point?” Louis comments, almost in an unnecessarily snarky way.

“Don't you have questions? Or an answer, even?” Harry says, his eyes intently locked on Louis’ to show he's serious.

“Well, I already said I would help you as much as I possibly can, now it's more of an issue of _how_ .” Harry tilts his head and squints as he continues to listen. “I want to know how much involvement you expect or want, what I’m _allowed_ to do, essentially.”

Harry scoffs lightly, “Allowed? It’s yours just as much as it is mine, I don’t think it would be fair if I said you weren’t _allowed_ to do anything.”

Louis smiles, the sides of his eyes crinkling, “I appreciate that mentality.” His smile fades and his voice lowers as he asks, “What about, um, your boyfriend?”

“What about him, exactly?” Harry says, seriously, not intending to play games, but genuinely curious as to how much Louis wants to know.

“How does he feel about this? Does he want any part of it? What if he hates me and doesn’t let me-” Harry cuts him off abruptly.

“He already told me that he’ll forgive me and treat the baby like his own, but he didn’t consider how that would make _me_ feel. He thinks that would help but-” he pauses, taking a deep breath to avoid choking up, “It is _so hard_ for me to live with what I did. I can’t forgive myself so I can’t let him forgive me. He didn’t deserve that. I feel even worse for keeping it from him and if it wasn’t for this baby I don’t think I ever would have told him.” he pauses again before adding a side note, “And about him being controlling over the baby, he isn’t like that. I think he would be fine with you being involved, the problem is that I can’t see myself letting _him_ be involved. None of this was his fault.”

Louis nods and hums, almost in agreement as he thinks of a response, almost wondering if it’s safer to stay silent. He decides to change the subject in hopes it’ll distract Harry, since it seems like he’s getting upset. “What would you like me to help with, ideally?”

“Well, ideally, everything? I think it would be nice if you went to appointments with me or if you bought things or did some research. We have time to figure out how we want to raise it, but the pregnancy is a huge deal, too.”

Louis smiles again, “Actually, me mum is a midwife, so, I know quite a bit. But i’d love to do those things with you. It’s a bit exciting, innit?”

“Oh! I’d love to meet her then. It’d probably have to happen anyway, with,” he rubs his flat belly, “ya know, being the grandmother to my child and all.” he laughs, his cheeks flushing lightly. “Does she know? About this?”

Louis shakes his head, “No, I’m extremely close with her but this is something I can’t figure out how to talk to her about. Not that she’ll be mad or anything but-” he fades off, shrugging his shoulders. “What about your parents?”

“No, I haven’t told anyone besides you and Niall, and Nick of course.”

Louis raises his eyebrows, “Nick?”

“My boyfriend.”

Louis mumbles _fuck_ under his breath, turning away from Harry as he facepalms. “I’m a fucking idiot.”

Harry grows concerned, “What, why? You’re not an idiot for not knowing his name I’m the one that never mentioned it-”

“No, the problem is that you _did_ mention it. Multiple times, actually! That night, at the bar, you mentioned him multiple times, I guess I just didn’t fucking pay attention.”

Harry acts shocked, his voice getting higher, “What? What did I say?”

Louis is flustered and speaks fast, Harry having a hard time understanding half of what he says, “I can’t remember, I don’t know. Something about how he doesn’t let you drink or go out anymore. I think you said something about the age difference keeping you from doing anything. It’s just that you talked like he was an ex, so maybe that’s why I didn’t think anything of it or care to ask.”

“Oh.” Harry says in response, keeping his eyes locked on the floor. “I’m sorry, please don’t blame yourself for this. It was just as much my fault; you didn’t know.”

Louis sighs to himself, “yeah, I guess.” He takes a deep breath, holding it for a moment before changing to subject, “So, when is your next appointment. I’d like to go.”

“The 29th.”

Louis nods and hums. “Well, I guess I better go. I have to get to work soon.”

 

_29th May:_

Harry pulls into the car park of the doctors surgery, trying to find Louis. With little luck, he finds a space close to the entrance and puts the car into neutral. He pulls his phone out and texts Louis: “Are you here? I can’t find you.”

Almost immediately, Louis walks out of the door, looking around for Harry. Once Harry notices him, he turns his car off and gets out, turning to lock the door with his fob.

“An Audi? Really?” Louis whistles, “That must have cost a fortune.”

“Yeah, I’m glad it’s paid off now, or else I wouldn’t be able to afford it on my own. But hey, at least it has high safety ratings.” He flashes a grin and Louis silently curses those dimples that drew him in in the first place.

Once inside, Harry checks himself in and sits down beside Louis, checking his phone for the time, noting that he arrived a little early. He leans over and whispers, “You haven’t done this before, have you?”

Louis scoffs lightly, “Nah, I knock up all of my one night stands. This is a common occurrence for me.”

Harry furrows his brows and elbows Louis in the side, “Don’t be mean.”’

As Louis holds back laughter and decides not to get Harry anymore worked up, the nurse walks out and calls them both back.

She walks Harry to a scale and measures his weight. Harry turns to Louis and whispers, “Don’t look.” Louis shakes his head and turns away, still hearing what the nurse says but he won’t let Harry know that.

After checking a couple other things, the nurse takes both men to a private room and asks Harry to lie down on the table in the middle of the room and tells Louis he can sit in the chair in the corner as he watches. She asks Harry questions about his symptoms and how is pregnancy is going, and Louis sees him blushing when he gets asked personal questions. Louis finds it funny how embarrassed and flustered Harry is about all of this, since he normally seems to be so confident and put together. Louis also wishes he had the freedom to tell Harry how beautiful and strong he thinks he is for dealing with this the way he is, but he doesn’t think it’s his place since Harry has enough things toying with his emotions right now.

Once the nurse leaves them alone, Harry groans and covers his face. “I feel so disgusting.”

Louis giggles, “To be fair, you’re making a tiny person. I guess you’re allowed to be a little gross as long as something is coming out of it.”

Harry raises his eyebrows, “Oh, _something_ is coming out of it, alright.”

Before Louis can respond, the technician walks in. “Good afternoon! How are you, Mr. Styles?”

After Harry repeats a few things to the technician that he already told the nurse, she asks him to roll his shirt up. She grabs a bottle of gel from the counter beside her and warns him before squirting it onto his belly. “This is going to be a little cold, but you’ve done this before so you should know.” She smiles and squirts a blue strip of the liquid across the lower half of Harry’s abdomen. She turns to Louis. “Would you like to watch?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Louis jumps up and walks over, standing over Harry as she turns on the machine and starts to rub the probe over the blue goo.

She rubs the probe around, looking for Harry’s womb. Both men wait in anticipation, wondering what they’ll see. Once she finds it, she turns the monitor towards the two men and points her manicured nail at the screen. “Here’s the head. See?”

Both men are overwhelmed with emotions. Harry blames it on the pregnancy hormones, but Louis thinks his are because this makes it completely official. That’s his baby, _their baby,_ that they’re going to raise together.

She moves the probe over a little more, showing a different angle of the baby. “If you listen closely, you can hear the heartbeat.”

Both men hear the soft thumping and immediately tear up. Harry whispers _wow_ and Louis reaches over and laces his fingers with Harry’s hand lying flat on the top of his belly.

After the technician lets them look a little more, she turns the machine off and grabs a tissue to clean Harry’s belly with. As she wipes it clean she starts to speak.

“Everything looks very good! The heartbeat is strong and the development seems to be on track for someone that’s roughly 12 weeks. By your next appointment we’ll probably be able to determine the sex of the baby, have you thought about that?”

Both Harry and Louis turn to each other and smile softly, both men start to shake their heads and Harry says, “No, not really. I’ll be happy either way, though.” Louis nods and hums in agreement, with his eyes still locked with Harry’s.

Once the technician is done talking to them both and gets Harry cleaned up, she walks them to the exit and tells them to have a good day. Louis walks Harry the few feet over to his car and opens the door for him once he hears it unlock.

“Ooh, such a gentleman.” Harry says, smiling widely as he gets in the driver’s seat. “You wanna get in, so we can talk?”

Louis closes the driver side door goes around to the passenger side to sit down. Once inside, Harry asks, “So, what did you think?”

Louis sighs, “It really tugs on the heartstrings, dunnit? I can’t believe it’s actually happening. I _knew_ it was, I trusted you and everything, but it’s a bit insane to see it meself.”

Harry, still all smiles, places his hand on the lower part of his belly. “You know you can touch, if you want.” He blushes softly, “I know there isn’t much, yet, but if you want to, I don’t mind.”

Louis smiles back, “Really?” Harry nods and hums, biting down on his bottom lip as he pulls his shirt up to expose his navel.

Louis reaches over and places his hand on Harry’s nearly flat stomach. It’s too early for the bump to start showing significantly, but it’s still impressive to know that there’s a tiny human inside of him. “Did you mean what you said in there?”

“About what?”

Louis pulls his hand away from Harry’s stomach. “When you said you don’t care what it is, a boy or a girl.”

“Of course I meant it. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I dunno, I was just wondering. I feel the same way.”

Harry pulls his shirt back down and plays with it, avoiding eye contact as he mumbles, “Louis, why did you stay?”

“Because it was the right thing to do.” Louis says without skipping a beat.

“Well, yeah, but _why_? You barely knew me and you just accepted it. You didn’t have to do that and I feel like almost anyone else would have just left and never spoke to me again.”

“If you want to know the truth, it’s because my dad left my mom alone to raise me herself. I’ve always said I wanted to be better than that. Up to this point I’ve never had a reason to, but when the opportunity arose,” he takes a deep breath, “of course it fucking scared me, I’m still scared shitless about all of it, but I knew that you deserved it and so did the baby. It’s both of our responsibilities to deal with and I think we’re doing pretty well so far.”

Harry nods, “Yeah, we are.”

“Harry?” Louis whispers.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you decide to keep it?”

Harry swallows loudly. “At that first appointment, when they told me and immediately did a scan and I _saw it_ with my own eyes, there was no doubt about it. I knew that, regardless of who was going to be there with me through it all, I had to keep this baby. I’ve always wanted one, Nick and I talked about it multiple times over the years, it just never actually happened. I almost felt like this was a blessing in disguise, something that happened unexpectedly under the worst circumstances but it’s something that's changing my life and teaching me things.”

“I get that. I feel the same way. Not that I considered making you get rid of it or anything, but seeing it and hearing that tiny heartbeat basically sealed the deal for me, 100%. I was already planning on being involved, but now I know I have to be.”

Harry slides his hand over the console and grabs Louis’ from his lap and squeezes. He whispers, “Thank you, again.”

“I don’t think I should be praised or thanked for doing what a responsible adult should do, but you’re welcome.” Louis squeezes Harry’s hand back.

Harry pulls his hand away and clears his throat. “Do you, um, think you could help me with something?”

 

_1st June:_

Louis is wondering why he agreed to this, but also cursing himself for not being able to turn Harry down for anything.

They just pulled into Harry’s house that he shared with his boyfriend of three years, and Louis immediately wishes he wasn’t there. From the outside it’s nothing special, but it’s still big and in a nice neighborhood outside of London. Not to mention it’s a single family home, not even an apartment or condo. Louis can never see himself affording such a luxury.

Once inside, Harry shows Louis where his stuff is that he needs to take to Niall’s. As he follows him through the house, Louis notices the nice things, the furniture, electronics, hardwood floors, granite counters, and feels his stomach sink. As if that wasn’t bad enough, they also walk past a wall of framed pictures that catch Louis’ eye. They don’t look to be too old, but they’re of Harry and Nick, presumably, travelling to multiple foreign countries. Louis knows he identifies the Eiffel tower in the background of one, where Harry is smiling into Nick’s neck while Nick snaps a selfie of them both.

“Louis, come on if you want to get out of here before Nick gets back.” Harry calls from the end of the hallway on the second floor. Louis didn’t realize how caught up he was in the portraits, but he brushes it off and tries to ignore it.

“There’s a couple bags right here that I need, and I think I’ll grab a couple more downstairs and that should be it, for now.”

Louis leans down and lifts the bags, grunting softly when he realizes they’re a tad bit heavier than he thought they’d be. “What the hell is in here, anyway?”

“Clothes, shoes, hair products.” Harry shrugs it off, “Just some things I didn’t think about when I left for Niall’s but since then have realized I need.”

Louis rolls his eyes and holds back any snide comments about Harry’s obvious frivolous habits. “Well come on then.” He motions towards the stairs.

“Right.” Harry walks around Louis and down the stairs, disappearing into another room while Louis slowly goes down the stairs in an attempt to keep himself, and the heavy bags, intact.

“Can I take these to the car?” Louis calls out, hoping Harry can hear him from wherever he went.

Harry pops up from around the corner holding two boxes in front of him, making Louis jump. “Yeah, I got my things so we’re good to go.”

After packing up the car and driving away, Louis keeps thinking about how bothered he is, and finally decides to ask what’s been on his mind for weeks now. “So, um, what does Nick do for a living?”

“He’s a radio host, why?” Harry replies, nonchalantly.

“Well, I know it’s none of my business, I was just wondering how you both have such nice things.”

Harry scoffs, “That’s all Nick’s family. They’re fucking loaded.”

Louis stays silent for a moment, thinking it over. “Well, I’m sorry I ruined that for you, too.”

“It’s fine. I’ve been thinking about that, actually. You kind of helped me.”

“How so?”

“When you told me what I was saying at the club, about Nick being controlling and all, it got me thinking. Throughout our entire relationship he’s been that way, telling me what I can and cannot do, and to make up for it he gives me nice things. Don’t get me wrong, I love him and I definitely love the money aspect, but I’ve come to realize that it wasn’t healthy.” He keeps his voice steady and his eyes on the road, but Louis can see his knuckles whitening around the steering wheel, “It’s been an adjustment, living on my own and without the money, but I’m doing fine. Despite it all, I am happy right now. I have been for a few weeks.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“I feel free, for the first time in years. Odd as it may seem.”

 

_8th June:_

Harry rushes through the front door into the apartment, frantically dropping his grocery bags and running to the kitchen to preheat the stove. He had made plans a few days earlier to cook dinner for Louis and Niall, but last minute he realized he was missing a few ingredients and now he’s behind schedule. He texts them both to let them know, but luckily they both responded that they didn’t mind and would be there eventually. Louis was off for the night, so Harry didn’t have to worry about him running out of time, at least.

Harry quickly chops up the vegetables and throws them into a pan to sautee. While he waits for that, he starts the next step of peeling the prawns, cursing himself for not buying the pre-peeled ones. He tosses those into the pot with the vegetables and starts to gather the ingredients for the chowder, broth, cream, and butter. As he’s measuring them out, he hears a faint knock at the door. Almost immediately, he hears another, louder knock. He turns his head around the corner and yells, “Come in!” He assumes it’s Louis, since it’s Niall’s apartment and he has his own keys, but wonders why Louis is so early.

The front door opens and closes and Harry hears the footsteps walking towards the kitchen. He subconsciously catches himself wiping his hands and playing with his hair, primping his appearance. He’s caught off guard by a familiar voice behind him.

“Who are you getting all dolled up for?”

Harry turns around and freezes up when he sees Nick standing in the doorway, arms crossed and leaning against the doorjamb.

Harry nervously laughs, trying not to be too suspicious, “Dolled up? Hah. I look terrible.”

“I think you look cute.” Nick points, “I really like the belly.”

Harry blushes and looks down, rubbing the small bump that’s finally starting to show. He gulps. “Why are you here?”

“I needed to talk to you and you never answer my calls or texts, Harry. You can’t just leave me hanging like this.”

Harry turns and cuts the stove down to avoid any burning while they talk. He turns to Nick and looks him in the eyes, keeping his jaw locked as he sternly says, “Nick. It’s over.”

“Over? Why is it _over_?” Nick raises his voice, “Over three years together and you just throw it away? For what? This?!” He throws his hands in the air, signalling at Niall’s modest apartment.

Harry takes a deep breath through his nose to avoid crying from being yelled at. He croaks out, “I’ve told you. I can’t be with you knowing what I did. I don’t know why you don’t understand that.”

Nick steps closer, leaving minimal distance between them as he speaks softly. “I said I would forgive you. Hell, I even said I would raise the child like my own. Why are you so against that? We could give that baby everything. Much more than you could give it on your own.”

Harry shakes his head, looking down at the floor. “I’m working on it. I can’t rely on your money forever. It’s not your child and it’s not your burden. Louis and I are working on it.”

Nick scoffs, “So you do know the father, huh? I’m sure he’s some prize, having unprotected sex with a drunk stranger.”

Harry raises his voice in defense, “It wasn’t unpro-” he shakes his head, “Actually, it’s really none of your business. Louis and I are working on it, and that’s between us.”

“What would you have done if he didn’t want to deal with this? Hm? He could walk out at any moment and go live his life, leaving you with the baby. What would you do then?”

“I went into this thinking I would be on my own. If it came down to it, that’s what I would do. I was shocked that Louis wanted to be involved, but if he changes his mind,” he raises his shoulders in a shrug, “I can’t stop him.”

“And what, are you two dating now? You just dropped me for no reason and went to him?”

Harry grits through his teeth, “No, we’re not dating. He knows I’m not interested.”

Nick raises his eyebrows, “So you’re just using him? Using your pretty looks and charm to trick him into helping you raise the baby but not giving him anything in return?”

Harry feels himself tearing up, “No! I am not using him, this was completely his decision. I don’t owe him anything and he doesn’t owe me anything. We’re friends strictly out of concern for the wellbeing of the baby.”

Nick shakes his head, “You don’t know how to function on your own. That’s why you cheated on me in the first place, because you couldn’t handle two weeks without someone. Louis actually sounds like a decent person and I feel bad for him, having to deal with you. Once you get what you want from him, attention, money, whatever it is, you’ll just leave him hanging. Exactly like you did to me.”

Harry feels himself trembling, his face red and wet with tears. He spits out, “You need to leave.”

Nick scoffs, “The truth hurts, doesn’t it! You know I’m telling the truth and you don’t want to believe it.”

Without realizing it, Harry shoves both palms into Nick’s chest, knocking him into the wall behind him. He points towards the front door in the adjacent room and yells, “Leave! Now! Get out!”

Nick stands with his back against the wall with a shocked expression on his face. He slides his hand up his abdomen and settles it on his chest where Harry just pushed him. He takes a deep breath and smirks, “No need to get violent, sweetheart. You’ll upset the baby.”

Harry runs his hands over his face and balls his fists into his hair as he breathes deeply through his nose. He whispers sternly, “Nick. Get the fuck out.”

Nick raises his hands in surrender and sidesteps, leaving the kitchen. He walks backwards towards the door, keeping his eyes on Harry. He grabs the doorknob and turns to leave, pausing to look back at Harry, who mouths “please just go”. He nods and does just that, opening the door and walking out without another word.

***

_Knock._

“Harry?”

_Knock._

“Harry, I know you’re in there.”

“Come in.”

Louis slowly opens the bathroom door, stepping inside. He immediately feels the warmth and smells the flowery bubbles coming from the bathtub that Harry is in. He covers his eyes playfully, holding his hand out to find the toilet to sit on.

“You don’t have to do that, you know.” Harry comments, trying to ease up.

Once he sits down on the closed toilet bowl, Louis uncovers his eyes and looks over at Harry, his head and bent knees are the only thing visible in the bathtub filled with bubbles. He can tell that Harry’s been crying with the way his eyes are red and puffy and his voice hoarse.

Harry clears his throat and speaks softly, “How did you know I was in here?”

“Niall told me. He said he found you in the kitchen floor when he got home and assumed you came in here to calm down.”

Harry sighs and lifts one leg, resting his foot on the far edge of the tub. He whispers, “Yeah.”

“Can I ask what happened?”

Louis can see Harry’s facial expression change from blank emptiness to hurt, “Nick and I broke up.”

“Shouldn’t that be a relief?” Louis asks, immediately regretting it.

Harry shakes his head, tears welling up in his eyes, “No.”

Louis stands up and walks over to where Harry is and sits down beside the tub, “Why not?”

Harry takes a deep breath, unsuccessfully trying to keep the tears from rolling down his face. “I loved him, Louis. I thought we were going to stay together forever. And-” his voice catches in his throat as another wave of tears rolls down, “the way he talked to me today,” he pauses as he shakes his head, “I never knew he was capable of that.”

“I’m sorry. Whatever he said, you didn’t deserve it.” Louis says with pure sincerity in his voice. He wants to know what exactly Nick said that tore Harry up so badly, but he doesn’t want Harry any more upset than he already is, so he waits to see if Harry mentions it himself.

“He said that I’m only using you and either,” he sniffles loudly, “you’ll leave me or I’ll leave you once I get what I want. He said that’s what I did to him. He said I can’t function on my own and that’s why I had sex with you in the first place.” he pauses and shakes his head, biting down on his bottom lip to keep himself from saying anything else.

Louis shakes his head but keeps his composure to keep Harry as calm as possible, “It’s going to be okay. None of that is true, alright? We’re in this together. Besides, you seem pretty independent and successful to me.” Louis laughs lightly, making Harry smile softly.

Louis continues a moment later, “Have you eaten anything?”

Harry shakes his head, “No, I never got around to finishing dinner, sorry.”

“It’s fine, I just think you need to eat. Keep your strength up. Besides, I’m sure the little peanut is hungry, too.” Louis nods towards where the bump is under the bubbles.

Harry laughs and tilts his head. “Peanut? I’ll have you know it’s about the size of a lemon right now, _not_ a peanut.”

Louis laughs, shaking his head at himself, “Fine, fine, whatever. Do you want me to go grab some take away?”

“Actually, can I go with? Maybe it’ll help to get out. Ya know, distract myself.”

“Of course, are you all done with this?” Louis motions across the tub.

“Yeah, ‘m actually getting cold.”

“Okay,” Louis stands up quickly, walking towards the door. Before he leaves the room he points back at Harry and sternly says, “Don’t move!”

Before Harry can question it, Louis leaves the room and leaves the door open behind him, making Harry shiver. A brief moment later, Louis returns carrying a fluffy towel. “Come on, then.”

Harry sits up in the tub, placing his hands on either side of the porcelain as he tries to stand up without slipping. Louis stands in front of the tub with the towel held open, waiting to wrap Harry up. Once Harry stands up and shakes a bit of the water off, Louis keeps his eyes locked on his face, noticing Harry smile and blush once he notices.

“You’ve seen it all before, I don’t have anything to hide.” Harry giggles as he reaches out and steps into the towel. He immediately feels warm and cozy, realizing that Louis must have taken the towel straight from the dryer.

“I’m just trying to be respectful, thanks,” Louis giggles, his face just inches away as he rubs the towel over Harry’s shoulders and down his back, catching the drops of water that are falling from his hair. As he breaks eye contact with Harry he feels his hot breath fan across his face as he lets out a soft laugh. Louis looks back up and sees Harry biting on his lip to hide a smile, his dimples telling another story. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothin’,” Harry says, still holding back a smirk. He feels Louis’ towel clad hands rub all over his body, steering clear of his soft cock as he goes from his belly to his thighs.

Louis squats down and dries Harry’s legs and feet, avoiding any contact with the penis inches from his face. He hears Harry giggle again and shakes his head as he stands back up and wraps him in the towel. “I think you can finish what’s left.”

Harry pulls the towel tighter around himself, “Oh, I’m sure I’ll manage. Sure you don’t want to do it?” he smirks.

Louis smirks and shakes his head, “No, thanks, I’m good. Go get dressed.”

Harry sighs dramatically as he twirls and walks towards the door. “You’re missing out,” he jokingly comments as he sashays out of the room.

Once left alone, Louis catches himself shaking his head and smiling at the floor as he looks around and attempts to clean up the bathroom. He picks up Harry’s old clothes and unplugs the tub drain as he thinks to himself, wondering how he got himself into this mess, but silently praises himself for choosing the most charming person in the world to do it with.

 

_19th June:_

Harry sits at the tiny two-person table in the corner of Louis’ galley kitchen, watching as Louis frantically attempts to cook a decent dinner for them both. He’s tried to chime in with advice, but got shut down because Louis wants to learn from his own mistakes.

He takes a sip of his water, adorned with a lemon wedge, and sets the glass back down. He hums and says, “What’s on the menu, Chef Tomlinson?” he fakes a proper voice in an attempt to tease Louis and get him worked up.

Much to his surprise, Louis plays along. “Chicken stuffed with mozzarella,” he pauses as he focuses on flipping the meat in the pan, “wrapped in parma ham.”

Harry rubs his hands together, “Sounds yummy. What else?”

“Homemade mash.” Louis answers, remembering to check the boiling pot of potatoes when he says so.

Harry hums, making a long _mmmm_ sound, “Can’t wait. It smells divine, by the way.”

Louis scoffs, “You’re just saying that. Probably tastes shit.”

“No! I mean it! You’re doing great, I’m sure it’s all fine. Are you sure you don’t want any help?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s almost done anyway. Just have to do the actual mashing, add a little cream and butter. Salt, pepper, ya know.” Louis looks over at Harry and smiles before he lifts the boiling pot and carries to the sink to drain.

Once dinner is completely prepared and the plates are set, Louis sits down across from Harry and starts to eat. He watches as Harry cuts off a chunk of the chicken and blows on it to cool it down before sticking it in his mouth, tongue first, Louis notices, and chews quietly.

“So? How is it?” Louis asks, still not having tried anything himself.

Harry makes a _hm_ sound as he covers his mouth, still full of food. Once he swallows he says, “Very good!”

Louis raises his eyebrows, “Really?” he scoffs and looks down at his own plate as he takes a bite of his own. “Hm, you were right.”

Both men sit in silence and eat for a few minutes, both of them being pretty hungry since it took longer for him to cook than it normally does. Besides thinking that it’s been his turn to make dinner for a while, Louis brought Harry to his apartment for a reason, he’s just been waiting for the right time to bring that up.

Once Harry takes his final bite of mash, he wipes his mouth with the napkin and drops it onto the plate, pushing it towards the middle of the table. “That was very good, Lou, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. You deserve it, since you’re always cooking for me, and for Niall even.” Louis replies before taking his final bite.

“Well, Niall’s letting me live at his place, so I think he more than deserves it.”

Louis tilts his head and points knowingly at Harry, “That is _very_ true.”

“Besides, Niall is an awful cook. I don’t know what he did before me.”

Louis laughs lightly, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with what he wants to talk to Harry about. Harry doesn’t seem to notice his change in tone, but he decides to carry on anyway, figuring that holding off would only hurt more than help the situation.

“So, Harry, I want to ask you about something,” Louis starts, his tone serious as he locks eyes with Harry from across the table.

“Yeah, absolutely. What is it?” Harry replies, keeping his own tone stern.

Louis inhales sharply, exhaling through his nose, “You know I’m a bartender, obviously, and that I live here, with Liam.”

Harry slightly furrows his brows, “Yes?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking, for a while now, actually, maybe that needs to change.”

“How so?” Harry asks, his curiosity piqued.

“I’ve been looking around for a better job, or even a second job, just to get more hours and more income before the baby comes.”

“What about living with Liam?”

“Well, that might depend on some other factors,” Louis drags on, wondering if Harry is catching his drift.

“Liiiiike?” Harry asks, his voice getting uncontrollably higher, unable to hide his growing excitement.

Louis smiles, unable to hide his own feelings since it seems that Harry is catching on, and positively at that, “Harry, do you want to move in with me?” he pauses but adds for good measure, “Just as friends, since, ya know.”

“Yes!” Harry nearly jumps out of his chair, smiling from ear to ear, “You mean here? With Liam, too?”

“Not exactly, Liam has actually been shopping around for a new place with his boyfriend, Zayn, I think you met him once.” Harry nods, “Our lease ends soon, so I thought maybe we could do the same? If you want to live in this dump, you’re welcome to, but I’ve been saving up and think we could afford something nicer, if you wanted.”

The smile hasn’t left Harry’s face since Louis popped the question, “Yeah! We can look around! Of course I’ve been saving, too. I can’t live with Niall forever, especially not with a kid.”

Louis smiles back, crinkles surrounding his eyes, “I guess not, love.”

Harry nearly squeals in excitement, jumping out of his seat and walking over to Louis, who stands up and meets him in a tight embrace. They stand in the middle of the kitchen wrapped tightly around each other, Harry with his face tucked into Louis’ neck. Louis hears him speak, but can’t make out what he says muffled against his skin.

“What was that?” Louis asks, pulling himself away but keeping his arms loosely around Harry.

“I said ‘I’m so happy’,” he replies, and Louis thinks he sees tears welling up in the corners of his bright green eyes.

Louis pulls him tightly against him again, swaying lightly as he says, “I’m happy, too.”

 

_24th October:_

The last three and a half months seemed to have flown by, a whirlwind of job hunting, extra shifts at the club, apartment searching, doctors appointments, and anything else to help Harry and Louis work towards settling in and preparing to become first time parents. Louis’ lease ended in the middle of September, leaving him with almost no other choice than to live at Niall’s place until they settled on a new place to move into.

After touring multiple apartments within their price range, a little higher than Louis expected when Harry insisted he could afford more and didn’t mind paying the difference, they finally found the perfect one. Compared to his old flat, Louis found this new one extremely spacious and almost luxurious. Compared to his 2 bedroom 1 bathroom with the dingy carpets with Liam, this one has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, along with a newly remodeled kitchen, hardwood floors, and other amenities he never would have considered having before.

As expected, the move had been a bit of a nightmare. With Harry’s growing pregnancy and back pains, it left Louis doing most of the work. Luckily, Niall offered to help as long as he wasn't busy. They assumed he was ready to have his apartment back to himself. After treating Niall to delivery pizza and wings, they thanked him and he left, leaving them alone for the first time in their new apartment.

Harry is sitting criss cross in the floor, unboxing all of his dishes that he somehow managed to get back from Nick. As he unwraps them, he hands them to Louis who stacks them in the cabinets. “How many boxes did you have?” Louis says, mildly frustrated. He’s never seen so many plates in various colors, patterns, and sizes in his life.

Harry looks around, “Ehm, maybe one more? I think. Why?”

“Don’t you want to call it a night? We can watch a movie. I know you said you wanted to watch _The Notebook.”_

Harry perks up, but doesn’t let Louis’ bribe distract him. “One more box, Lou.”

Louis sighs but agrees, knowing how annoying it is to come back to something that you were so close to finishing. He quickly stacks the remainder of the plates and then reaches down to help Harry stand up. Harry groans as he struggles to get up, his large belly in the way and his legs numb.

Louis holds him steady as he finds his balance, never being the most graceful person even without the bump, “You okay?”

Harry nods frantically, “Yeah, let’s go watch the movie.”

Louis smiles and runs one hand through Harry’s messy curls, attempting to tuck them behind his ear, “Of course.”

He guides Harry to the living room, keeping his hand on the dip of his back. “Go sit down, I’ll put the DVD on.”

Luckily, the TV and everything with it was one of the first things they agreed to hook up. The Sky won’t be ready for a few days, but it’s fine since they have plenty of things to do. Harry left his prized DVD of _The Notebook_ on the coffee table when he found it the day before, telling Louis they had to watch it together.

Once the movie is in, Louis walks over to the couch and sits down on one side. Once he’s comfortable he hears Harry clear his throat.

“Can I?” Harry asks softly, pointing towards Louis’ lap.

Louis smiles and nods, opening his arms in welcoming, “Come here.”

Harry lies down, keeping his head in Louis’ lap, something that they do sometimes but Harry still likes to ask permission. As the trailers play, Louis reaches down and rubs Harry’s lower back with one hand, “How is it?”

Harry hums, “better than yesterday, but that feels so good.”

Louis keeps his hand there, digging his fingers into the spot that he knows bothers Harry the most as the movie starts.

Harry had always told Louis that _The Notebook_ was his favorite movie, but Louis seems to have underestimated him. From the start, Harry knew almost every line, saying it along with the characters. Normally, Louis would find something like this extremely annoying, but he finds it oddly endearing when it's Harry that's doing it.

About halfway through the movie, Louis starts to notice Harry acting differently. He tells Louis to stop rubbing his back and stops reciting the movie. Louis brushes it off but a few minutes later notices something else. As Noah and Allie make love on the TV, Louis feels Harry fidgeting in his lap. He peeks down and notices that he’s adjusting himself in his pants.

Louis giggles to himself but can't help but make a comment, “I assumed you had the hots for Ryan Gosling, but really?”

Harry jumps and quickly covers his face with his hands, a bit of his flushed cheeks still visible. He groans and giggles, but doesn't say anything.

Louis runs his hands through Harry's hair, twisting some curls around his fingers, “It's fine, I’m sorry for teasing.”

A moment later, Harry turns and looks up at Louis, he whispers, “Wanna know a secret?”

“Yes,” Louis tries to hide his smirk, wondering if Harry is going to admit to some weird fantasy relating to wishing he was Rachel McAdams.

“I haven't had sex since that night, almost seven months ago.”

Louis almost chokes on nothing, not expecting that reply. “I-I, um, me too.”

Harry furrows his brows, “Really?”

Louis nods his head, feeling his own cheeks flush red. “Yep.”

Harry pauses, running his fingers over his lips in the way he does when he's thinking. He bites his finger before speaking softly, “Did you, um, want to?”

Louis shrugs, “Of course I _want_ to, but despite what you may think, I’m not really a fan of sleeping around.”

“No, silly, I mean, right now,” Harry pauses, his face burning red, “with me.”

Louis doesn't express his shock, instead keeping his calm demeanor as he asks, “Do you?”

Harry nods gently, “Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Harry removes himself from Louis’ lap and stands up, readjusting himself so that he can straddle him. Using the back of the couch for leverage, he sits on Louis’ thighs, his large stomach creating a bit of distance in between them. He feels Louis run his hands down his sides and settle on his hips, squeezing lightly at the softness that’s developed recently.

Harry leans down, closing the space between them as he hovers over Louis’ face. Louis feels his heavy breaths hitting his face, watching as he takes his bottom lip into his mouth and nibbles on the corner.

“You’re so pretty, Harry,” Louis whispers as he runs his fingers through Harry’s messy curls and tucks them behind one ear. He keeps that hand on Harry’s jaw and feels him lean into it, watching as his cheeks turn bright pink at the compliment.

Harry lowers himself and connects his lips to Louis’, loving how different this already is from the last time they did this. Louis kisses him back softly, running his tongue over his bottom lip and slipping it into his mouth as they deepen their kiss.

Harry keeps his hands gripped tightly on the back of the couch to keep his balance, but Louis has his roaming over Harry’s body. He grazes his chest, down his back and hips, and settles on his ass, squeezing it through his sweatpants, confirming his thoughts that it’s gotten bigger since Harry started gaining so much weight.

Louis doesn’t notice at first, but Harry begins to rock and grind his semi against his own between their clothes. Louis pulls away and disconnects their lips, instead kissing down Harry’s jaw and neck, nipping softly at his earlobe and making him gasp quietly.

He stops kissing and connects his eyes back to Harry’s lidded ones, “Is your bed made?” Harry nods quickly, knowing that his bed was one of the first things he fixed when they moved in. Both men untangle and stand up, rushing towards the master bedroom that Harry claimed as his own.

Once inside, they don’t bother to close the door behind them as they connect their lips again. As they pick up where they left off, Harry feels Louis grab the hem of his shirt and pull it up over the bump and over his head, Harry breaking the kiss and helping him take it off before he tosses it into the floor. Louis moans lightly and looks down, running his hands over the bump, feeling the new stretch marks under his fingertips. “You’re so fucking hot like this, shit.” he moans as he reaches around and slips his hands under Harry’s sweats, noticing he isn’t wearing any pants. He feels his cock twitch in his pants at the thought, wondering how often Harry casually goes commando.

Harry starts to whine and tug on the hem of Louis’ shirt. Louis takes his own shirt off and pushes his joggers down, keeping his briefs on, looking down to see the outline of his hard cock and the wet spot of precome forming on the material. He begins to slide Harry’s sweats off, getting stopped by Harry grabbing his wrists, “I haven’t shaved, can’t reach.”

Louis struggles to hold back a moan, “It’s fine, love. Promise.” He slips Harry’s sweats down the rest of the way and holds him steady as he kicks them off and across the floor. He runs his hand down the bump and through Harry’s bush of pubes, no worse than his own, he thinks, before grabbing the base of his cock and giving it one long stroke.

Louis lets go of his cock, letting it pop up against the bump, and pushes him towards the bed, “Get off of your feet, yeah? Let me take care of you.”

Harry crawls onto the bed and lies on his back, spreading his legs and leaning up on his elbows to watch Louis over the bump. Louis climbs onto the bed as well and situates himself on his knees between Harry’s thighs. He scoots a little further up the bed and places his hands on either side of Harry’s face as he leans down and connects their lips again. Harry kisses him back messily, slipping his tongue into his mouth and whining softly.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Louis whispers, his lips centimeters away from Harry’s as he pulls away.

“Yeah, need it,” Harry replies softly, his eyes wide and pupils blown as he looks up and connects with Louis’.

“Stop me if you change your mind, alright?” Louis says, getting a nod from Harry.

“I won’t change my mind. Please, I want it.” Harry whines, running his hands down Louis’ back.

Louis doesn’t reply but sits up and slides himself back down the bed and onto his knees on the floor. He reaches up and grabs Harry at the bend of his hips, signaling for him to slide to the edge of the bed. Once Harry is comfortable again, Louis spreads his legs as far as they’ll go and kisses the insides of his thighs, the sides of his knees, and the creases between his thighs and cock. He hears Harry whimper as he gets closer and closer to his sensitive areas. He grabs Harry’s cheeks and spreads them to expose his hole as much as possible, rubbing his dry thumb over it gently and admiring the way Harry tightens up at first but slowly loosens.

Without warning, Louis buries his face into Harry’s ass, placing consecutive wide licks up and down his hole. He breathes in Harry’s natural scent and musk, assuming it’s even stronger due to his unkempt pubic hair. He runs his tongue in circles around the tight pucker, loving the taste and feeling of knowing he’s making Harry feel good.

Harry keeps his hands tangled in Louis’ hair, keeping him buried in his ass. He clenches his thighs around his head and lets out breathy gasps as Louis goes deeper. He feels Louis tighten his tongue and stick the tip into his hole, going as deep as possible as he laps up his inner walls.

As Louis goes deeper, he hears Harry getting louder and louder. He sticks his tongue in as far as it’ll go, enveloping himself in the taste and warmth. Soon he feels Harry’s hands tighten in his hair and pull him away. When he sits up he hears soft crying and immediately stands up and leans over Harry’s face, caressing his cheeks as tears run down.

“What is it? Do you want to stop?” Louis asks with panic in his voice, wondering where he went wrong.

“N-no, keep going,” Harry says, stumbling over his words as he tries to stop crying.

“Are you sure? What’s the matter?” Louis assumes he isn’t crying from pleasure because this seems more serious, but with Harry’s pregnancy hormones, he can’t say for certain.

“I w-wanna see you,” Harry replies, sniffling.

“What do you mean, baby, I’m right here,” Louis says softly, running his thumb over Harry’s wet cheekbone.

“When you were down there,” Harry pauses to sniffle again, “I couldn’t see you. I want to watch.”

Louis suddenly understands and feels bad, even though he had no idea that would bother Harry so much. He leans down and connects their lips again. “I’m so sorry, I won’t do that again, okay?” 

“Okay,” Harry pouts, running the back of his hand over his wet eye in an attempt to dry his tears.

Since rimming was out of the question, Louis assumed that a blowjob would be, too. Instead, he starts kissing up and down Harry’s body, paying special attention to the more sensitive areas. As he kisses his chest he gently rubs his nipples, making Harry nearly scream from the sensitivity. He also kisses down the bump and keeps a hand on it while he kisses the insides of Harry’s bent knees, where he's still visible.

Harry eventually gets squirmy and irritable, so Louis decides on his next plan of action.

“Do you have any lube?” Louis asks, inching upwards until he's hovering over Harry's face again.

“Pink box under the bed,” Harry replies, biting his bottom lip afterwards.

Louis hops up and looks under the bed. It takes a moment but he finally finds the pink box and pulls it out. When he opens it he feels his cock jerk in response and he has to hold back a moan or comment.

Inside is what Louis assumes is Harry’s sex toy collection. He sees multiple dildos, vibrators, plugs, cock rings, and even things like handcuffs and restraints. He grabs the bottle of lube and a condom from on top of everything else, but he can't help but hope he gets the chance to use everything else on Harry someday.

He closes the box and slides it back before he stands up and joins Harry on the bed again, who seems to be oblivious to what he just showed Louis. He’s faintly brushing his fingers over his hard nipples, keeping himself hard while Louis figures out what to do.

Louis situates himself between Harry’s open legs, yet again, this time squirting some of the lube onto his fingers and rubbing them up and down Harry’s crack and over his hole. Louis gently rubs his thumb over the sensitive taint as he runs his slickened middle finger in a circle over Harry’s tight entrance. Harry continues to play with his nipples and starts to let out small whimpers as Louis teases his hole.

“You want me to open you up?” Louis says, keeping his fingers on the puckered entrance. “Tell me what you want.”

Harry whines and mumbles something unintelligible.

“Harry, tell me what you want. I didn’t hear you.” Louis says, softly but sternly, making Harry play along with him.

“I want you to fuck me, please,” Harry whines out desperately.

“Good boy,” Louis says as he softly slips the middle finger into Harry’s entrance. He meets a slight resistance, but pushes further until his finger is completely wrapped in tight heat. He pulls it halfway out and pushes it back in, getting some sort of opening going. “You ready for another one?”

Harry nods vigorously so Louis pulls that finger out and joins it with his pointer finger. He prods at Harry’s hole with both before slipping inside and slowly sinking in. It’s harder this go around, but he still manages to get them both completely inside. He gives Harry a minute to adjust to the slight stretch before he pulls them halfway out and slides them in again. He rotates his wrist so that his palm is facing up and bends his fingers up towards himself slightly. Suddenly, Harry’s entire body shudders and he lets out a loud moan due to Louis finding his prostate, his cock jerking and squirting a bit of clear precome onto his round belly.

“Louis, hurry up,” Harry whines.

“I’m trying, I just want you to be ready, okay? One more finger. Promise.”

Louis scissors those two fingers a few times before he pulls them out and adds a third. He slides all three inside and scissors them, attempting to open Harry up as much and as quickly as possible before Harry gets annoyed. When he is able to quickly finger Harry with all three fingers without any resistance, he pulls them out and sits up on his knees. He wipes his wet fingers on his briefs before he slides them off and throws them into the floor. He grabs the condom from the pink box and opens it, sliding it down his hard length. The condom itself is lubricated, but Louis thinks he should be safe so he squirts a little more onto his cock and jerks it a few more times before lining up with Harry’s entrance.

“Are you sure you want this?” Louis asks, the tip of his cock prodding at Harry’s opening.

“Yes, please, I need it,” Harry begs.

Before he slides in, Louis pulls away and gets off the bed, making Harry groan and whine. He walks up to the head of the bed and grabs a pillow before walking back and making Harry sit up so he can place it under his lower back. Once Harry is rearranged and comfortable, Louis climbs back into position and grabs the base of his cock to line it up.

Louis starts off slow and slides the tip inside. As he gradually slips the rest of his length in, he has to hold his breath to hold back any groans. He can't believe how tight and warm Harry is, and he almost feels like he's losing his virginity all over again as he restrains from coming immediately.

Harry's breath hitches in his throat and he lets little moans and gasps slip out as Louis bottoms out. The stretch is painfully pleasant, and he digs his nails into the back of Louis’ bicep to keep him from moving.

“Tell me when,” Louis says breathily, struggling himself.

Harry props himself up on his elbows, looking down at Louis with his head tilted as he catches his breath. “I think I'm ready.”

Louis slowly pulls halfway out and pushes back in. He repeats this a few times and Harry doesn't stop him so he picks up speed. Eventually, he pulls almost all the way out and slams his cock back inside of Harry's tight, wet heat.

“Fuck!” Harry whines, throwing his head back and fisting his hands in the duvet.

Louis keeps this speed up, continuously slamming his cock into Harry as fast as he can muster. He reaches up and cups Harry's swollen pecs and rubs his thumbs in circles over his hard nipples. He pulls one hand away and rubs two fingers over Harry’s lips and slides them into his mouth. Harry obscenely sucks on them, lapping his tongue around and letting out whines through his closed mouth. Louis whimpers and pops his fingers out, rubbing the wetness over Harry’s neglected nipple.

Harry's elbows give out from underneath him and he collapses with his back to the bed. He clenches his eyes shut and moans loudly as Louis continues to fuck his ass and play with his sensitive nipples.

“Does it feel good? Hm?” Louis says through heavy panting.

“Yes-yes,” his voice gets higher as Louis continues, “so full of your big cock.”

Louis suddenly stops his thrusting, having to contain himself. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to get used to Harry’s dirty mouth. He grabs the base of his cock and squeezes as hard as possible as he pulls halfway out and pushes back in. Harry starts to whine.

“Fuck me hard, _please,”_ Louis is also shocked at how polite Harry stays.

“I have to be gentle with the baby,” Louis lies, mentally hitting himself at how stupid and contradictory he sounds.

“It’s fine, Louis, please, just fuck me,” Harry repeats. Louis looks down and really notices how wrecked he is for the first time. His eyes are lidded and he looks like he’s been crying the entire time. His bottom lip is swollen and Louis assumes he was biting down on it. His curls are messy and matted to his face with sweat, but Louis thinks he looks gorgeous as ever.

“You’re so fucking pretty,” Louis says, reaching down to cup Harry’s jaw. He rests his other hand on the bump and rubs it in small circles, “So amazing, so pretty.”

Harry’s cheeks turn a brighter shade of red at the compliments but he’s also getting irritable and wants to be fucked. “Louis if you don’t fuck me I’ll do it myself.” he reaches down and attempts to jerk himself off, having a hard time with the bump in the way.

“Stop that,” Louis smacks Harry’s hand away and grabs the base of his cock again as he thrusts slowly a few times.

Harry lets out a sigh of relief and says, “Yeah, faster.”

Louis picks up speed and goes faster, but not as fast as he started out in an attempt to hold off his orgasm as long as possible. This is probably the longest he’s ever gone without sex since he lost his virginity, and Harry laid out in front of him being filthy is only making things harder.

He changes the angle of his hips and thrusts as hard as possible, knowing he’s hitting Harry’s spot due to the way he screams and trembles, his fingers tightly pulling on the bedspread underneath him. He continues this pace and angle for as long as possible, feeling the tightness begin to form in his lower stomach.

“‘M getting close,” Louis breathes out, reaching for Harry’s hard cock.

He begins to jerk Harry off in rhythm with his own thrusts, knowing that Harry is close from the string of breathy obscenities pouring from his swollen lips. He pays special attention to the tip and admires the copious amounts of precome that are coating his cock as he continues to jerk him off. He lets go of Harry’s length for a moment to pay attention to his balls, squeezing them both lightly before going back to his hard length.

“Can you come for me?” Louis says as his thrusts slow down and he continues to jerk.

“Yeah, almost,” Harry whines. Louis can tell he’s getting sweatier and more flustered.

A few strokes later, Harry begins to tremble and spray thick come all over himself and Louis’ hand. He shudders for a moment afterwards as he catches his breath. Louis, overwhelmed with Harry clenching around him, comes almost immediately after, pausing to fill up the condom with a loud groan before he slowly thrusts a couple times to squeeze out the last bits of his orgasm.

Instantaneously, Louis feels tired and worn out, knowing he’s going to be sore all over as soon as he wakes up in the morning. As much as he wants to crawl under the covers and get some sleep, he knows he has things he needs to do. He starts off by pulling out of Harry slowly, admiring the way his spent hole clenches around nothing. He stands up and takes the condom off, tying it and throwing it into the rubbish bin on his way to the connected bathroom.

Harry can’t see what Louis’ doing but he hears the water come on in the sink. A moment later Louis reemerges with a damp flannel and walks over to the bed and begins to wipe the come from Harry’s belly. He shudders when Louis drags the warm towel over his sensitive hole but he’s glad he’s being taken care of.

After wiping his own cock off, Louis tosses the flannel on the floor with his clothes and climbs into bed, helping Harry sit up and move himself. He grabs the pillow that was under Harry’s back and puts it back where he got it from and lets Harry lean back on it, making sure he’s comfortable and feels okay.

“Good?” Louis asks, hoping Harry can pick up on what he’s insinuating.

Harry nods gently, “Mhm, thank you, I needed that.” Louis can tell he’s fighting off sleep so he gets up and starts to leave the room, not wanting to push any boundaries, unaware of how far Harry will let this go. He hears Harry speak as he bends over to pick up his clothes on the way out, “Where are you going?”

Louis turns to see Harry sitting up in bed with a confused look on his face. “To my room?”

Harry falls back onto the bed and pats the other side, poking out his bottom lip in a pout, “Want cuddles.”

Louis drops his clothes back onto the floor and crawls back in bed, plopping down on the opposite side. Harry is on his side facing him, his hands tucked under his head as he looks at Louis with a pleasant look on his face.

Louis can’t help but crack a smile, “What?”

Harry holds back a smile, too, but Louis can see his dimples appear, “Nothing, just thinking.”

“Yeah? About what?” Louis asks, inching closer and throwing his arm around Harry’s waist, rubbing his lower back.

“‘Sa secret.” Harry says, giggling.

Louis raises his eyebrows, “Yeah?”

“Mhmm.”

Louis removes his hand from Harry’s back and holds it between them, holding up his pinky. “What if I pinky promise not to tell?”

Harry squints his eyes and scrunches his nose as he pretends to think, “Hmmmm, okay.” He shrugs his shoulders and lifts one hand to wrap his pinky around Louis’.

“So?” Louis asks. He suddenly gets nervous, feeling his heartbeat thrumming in his ears.

“I think I’m in love with you,” Harry whispers.

Louis almost thinks he misheard, thinking to himself there must be no way Harry said what he thinks he said. He takes a deep breath and tries to respond without making fun of Harry or undermining his feelings. “What makes you think that?”

“You know what,” Harry says without skipping a beat. “The way you’ve been with me since I told you about the baby, how you worked so hard so we could get this apartment. You’re even looking for another job with better hours so you can be around once the baby is born so I can sleep.” he takes a deep breath and continues, his voice soft and sincere, “You helped me deal with Nick leaving. You’re just so selfless, wanting to help everyone else. I thank you for that and I find it admirable.”

Louis doesn’t know what to say so he just smiles and mouthes, “thank you.” He leans over and connects their lips, kissing Harry deeply for a moment before he pulls away, keeping his face right across from Harry’s. “Guess what?”

“What?” Harry whispers, smiling from ear to ear.

“I’ve loved you from the moment I met you.”

Harry acts shocked, “No,” he shakes his head in disbelief and whispers, “you’re just saying that.”

Louis smiles and stays calm, “No, I’m not. You have no idea how much I wanted you to come back - to call or visit me. I was so happy when you called.”

“Why didn’t you call me, then?”

“I told you I was afraid. You called what happened a mistake and I was afraid of what you’d say to me if I tried to call. I thought that maybe I’d eventually get over you if I let go and tried to move on, but it just wasn’t happening.”

Harry breaks eye contact with Louis and looks down between their stomachs, taking a deep breath before he looks back up, “Louis?”

Louis raises one hand and rests it on Harry's cheek, “What?”

Harry smiles and Louis can see his eyes begin to water, “l’m so glad I fucked up. I'm happier now than I've ever been.”

Louis giggles and rubs his thumb over the tears welling over Harry's cheeks, “I'm glad you fucked up, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and please please please leave any comments or kudos!!!!  
> I would love to know what everyone thinks about my work :)


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